Grace
Well, this afternoon I’d thought maybe to post something a bit light-hearted. But I can’t quite bring myself to that right now. The school has seen yet another “record low” today. This is getting to be a saddening and disturbing trend. But there is always grace for the moment. In this case, it was the common grace of fencing. :)
Of course, there is something very therapeutic about flaying someone with a saber. (Many thanks to Jeremiah and Michael who agreed to be on the receiving end :)!) But there is more to it than that. Some good solid exertion has moved me from depressed and listless to energized and exhausted. And granted, Jeremiah and Michael gave back a good percentage of what they got :). Bruises are their own means of grace. They have a way of intruding themselves upon your thoughts and, if not completely desirable, at least the physical discomfort can keep your mind off the emotional stuff. And endorphins are not to be underestimated.
The bruises also make me realize the physical realities around me which I’ve allowed to go by the wayside. It’s been an impeccable spring, but a largely unenjoyed one, since my thoughts have been elsewhere. Somehow listening to the birds and looking at the pretty flowers and feeling the soft breeze did not seem like appealing activities. So I will tomorrow. It is Sat., so I can get up in time to watch the sun rise (haven’t done that in a while) and I will help sew costumes for Eden Troupe and I will pray.
So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD."
I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
Lamentations 3:18-26
Of course, there is something very therapeutic about flaying someone with a saber. (Many thanks to Jeremiah and Michael who agreed to be on the receiving end :)!) But there is more to it than that. Some good solid exertion has moved me from depressed and listless to energized and exhausted. And granted, Jeremiah and Michael gave back a good percentage of what they got :). Bruises are their own means of grace. They have a way of intruding themselves upon your thoughts and, if not completely desirable, at least the physical discomfort can keep your mind off the emotional stuff. And endorphins are not to be underestimated.
The bruises also make me realize the physical realities around me which I’ve allowed to go by the wayside. It’s been an impeccable spring, but a largely unenjoyed one, since my thoughts have been elsewhere. Somehow listening to the birds and looking at the pretty flowers and feeling the soft breeze did not seem like appealing activities. So I will tomorrow. It is Sat., so I can get up in time to watch the sun rise (haven’t done that in a while) and I will help sew costumes for Eden Troupe and I will pray.
So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD."
I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
Lamentations 3:18-26
posted by Gabi @ 10:26 PM
1 Comments:
At Sat Apr 01, 01:08:00 PM CST,
sarah said…
Gabi, what else has happened? It's not Dr. Snyder, is it? I've known about him resigning for a while now, even before the other four, so that seems like it couldn't be it. Tell me!
Believe me, I know the depression you're talking about. I was depressed in exactly the same way for my whole first month at home. I was exhausted, the same way you all are right now. Prayer is the answer. When there is an impossible, overwhelming, wound of sadness deep in your soul, only God can heal it. That's why I begged everyone last week to pray over spring break.
Please, do enjoy spring. Spring is a sign of God's ever-renewing love. He loves us all now, and everything that is happening now is intended to draw us closer to Him. And it has, hasn't it?
I am praying for you, and for everyone.
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