A Traveler's Tales

Being the musings of a alien - temporal and spiritual...

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Looking for My People

When I am around other Christians, I often feel out of place. Their language and attitudes are certainly not completely foreign to me, but neither are they my own, really. And I am increasingly aware that, should I express myself in my own way, they would not understand and I may even find myself the target of virulent opposition. I’ve been told many times that my penchant for taking a cost/benefit view of pretty much everything (including morality and salvation) are “worldly” and “unchristian.” And I certainly shouldn’t mention my predilection for postmodernism – association with it makes one “secular,” “irrational,” “dangerous,” and at least heterodox (if not completely heretical). Oh, and apparently being libertarian makes me “immoral” and “a child molester” (I won’t be forgetting that gem any time soon).

By way of analogy, in your average gathering of Christians (be it church, school, or whatever), I feel like a nerve cell that has found its way into group of muscle cells – I, at least, am fairly sure we’re part of the same body, but we’re not at all the same. While this may be good for both of us to deal with, I find it quite taxing on the best days – infuriating and depressing on the worst. So, this nerve cell is setting out to find some of her own kind. Be it ever so temporarily, I want to connect with other people like me, simply to confirm that they exist and to be able to relax, knowing I’m not going to be pounced upon.

To this end, I have found an emergent church in the area and plan on visiting them this coming Sunday. They may not be the fellows I’m looking for, but it seemed a logical place to begin the search. Any who are interested in searching with me or simply inspecting these curious emergent folks are welcome to join. Just zip me an email.

To friends who have put up with me in spite of my weirdnesses: thank you and God bless you.
To family and friends who have appreciated me because of them: I love you all muchly and couldn’t have survived if it weren’t for you.

2 Comments:

  • At Mon Apr 16, 12:55:00 PM CDT, Blogger Pinon Coffee said…

    As for "putting up with you"--the pleasure and profit were all mine. :-) Thank _you_ for putting up with _me_, because I don't think I was quite the easiest to get along with. :-)

    But I hear you, and...I'm so sorry to hear that that's the way it is at your church. You've got to find a fellowship that doesn't pounce on you, that's for sure. It's not only okay, but right and proper that you be a nerve cell.

    The trouble, at least for me, is discerning which differences are legitimate and which are preference and personality. I just hate disagreeing with anybody--and so keep my mouth shut for fear of being pounced on. :-/

     
  • At Wed May 02, 01:24:00 PM CDT, Blogger Kelly Sauer said…

    Dear Gabi,

    Thank you so much for your honest post. I hope you don't mind if I encourage you to keep searching. Your sense of being "outside" is such a familiar feeling to me! When believers don't see beyond their ideas of what "Christians" should look like, what do you do? I've been searching for answers within the "organized church" for years, and I am still determined not to become a reactionary. Yet God seems to be very clearly (and insistently!) calling my husband and me *out* of the organized church and into Himself for now! We don't know where He's leading us or for how long, but we keep running across other people who are in the very same place! I hope you will find the fellowship in Christ that you are longing for!

     

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