A Traveler's Tales

Celebration at the End of the Earth

2008-07-19T11:25:00.003-05:00

Last weekend found me again away from home, this time in what must be the remotest place I have yet to visit - Marquette, MI. I was expecting a small town. What I found was a last outpost of civilization, bordered on one side by an ocean of trees and on the other by the cold, blue waters of Lake Superior. It was an area of clean air, cool breezes, hordes of trees, and an airport smaller than the church (I counted the chairs for passengers - there were 50 total).

While Marquette was lovely, it was simply my destination, not my purpose. The purpose was to celebrate the wedding of Emily and Kendell, two of my favorite people. And what a celebration it was! Perhaps the best of it was spending time with others who were there for the very same purpose. Some of us knew each other already, some of us knew each other by reputation, and others didn't know each other at all. Nevertheless, a shared love of Emily and Kendell bound us into one great army of celebrants. I got to meet the legendary Faith - Emily's life-full, fun-loving friend since childhood - and got to see the rest of the Holmes clan again and spend more time with them. We all worked together, played together, lived together and generally enjoyed ourselves.

Of course, the wedding itself was wonderful. It was festive, the weather was divine, the cakes were delicious. Emily was gorgeous and Kendell looked like he was walking about a foot off the ground. And yes, when they were presented as a couple, I cried my eyes out (dry eyes were a lost cause from the start - I nearly cried watching the rehearsal). It was, in short, a perfect wedding and a beautiful celebration.

There and Back Again, Again

2008-06-11T18:14:00.010-05:00

Continuing with the theme of travels, I find myself again (relatively) recently returned home, this time from

Ireland

(and a brief jaunt to St. Louis, but that wasn’t half so exciting – sorry Sarah). The trip was only ten days long, yet we – my parents and I – packed all the action we could into those days, beginning our trip in Dublin, driving south to Glendalough, Cashel, and Waterford, across to Killarney, then up the west coast through the burren to Galway and then back to Dublin.

Perhaps the first thing to stand out was the sublime beauty of the country. I know everyone says Ireland is lovely but it’s easy to think “Of course, in the same way that every countryside is lovely.” Apparently, however, they simply call it “lovely” because they lack the words to describe it. We kept a joint travel journal while we were there and by the second day it became a running joke that we would have to think of new superlatives each day to describe the sights we had seen. My best description could simply be that it was stable and sheltering, intensely majestic, and joyfully wild. Walking in the prehistoric stone fort of Dun Aonghus was a case in point. There the ground was covered in the softest and greenest of grasses, dotted with little yellow and white flowers; yet just an inch below that grass (and in some places poking through) was solid rock, which sheared away at one edge of the fort, leaving a knee-weakening 600-foot drop into the Atlantic. Not a tame country, but certainly a good one.

There were too many exploits and adventures to recount them all here, but perhaps a few snapshots will suffice to give the general flavor:

- Walking into a dimly lit room at Trinity College and seeing laid on a table before me the most ancient and beautiful manuscripts Ireland (and perhaps the world) has to offer. Their ornamentation was a flurry of saints, animals, knots, and spirals in patterns of constant play. And equally importantly, one could discern in their midst the beautiful and ancient words, faithfully copied that they might never be lost – In principio erat Verbum…

- Seeing the mountains and lake of Killarney National Park. Like the rest of Ireland, it was gorgeous – but even Ireland looks better from horseback (to which the Irish themselves would readily agree). And tearing down a muddy, tree-lined lane at a full gallop was a wild adventure not to be missed.

- Asking one of our guides what he thought about the Lisbon Treaty (an EU thing that there were lots of signs about) and getting a brief history of modern Ireland with the answer. He favored us with the story of his two uncles who fought in the IRA under Michael Collins in the revolution, one of whom assisted in bringing down the only wireless trans-Atlantic communication station of the time. He was everything one thinks of an Irishman being – eloquent, welcoming, independent, and fiery-tempered.

- Standing in the prehistoric tomb of Newgrange in the pitch black, watching for the light to appear as it would on Midwinter Day; seeing the outer stones bathed in warm gold and a thin shaft of light pierce even the deepest recesses of the tomb. It was a sign filled with hope and yearning. It was as if with this structure, man joined nature in saying, “Even the longest night cannot last forever. My deliverer is coming.”

It was, in total, a lovely trip. But, having been gone for four weeks of the past two months, I think I will be happy to hang my hat at home for a while… At least until adventure – and weddings – call me back to the open sky.

Recent Travels

2008-05-04T09:45:00.015-05:00

Well, it’s been a while, for which I apologize. But part of that time I was busy “gathering material” for today’s post. For those who don’t know, I’ve recently returned from a trip to the Arabian Gulf (typically known in the US as the Persian Gulf, but don’t try telling an Arab that :)).

My trip stretched two weeks and touched Dubai, Bahrain, and Qatar. The countries were in many ways similar. The climate was universally hot (upper 90s, though locals swore it was beautiful spring weather), humid because of the maritime influence, and dusty. The cultural make-up of the countries was oddly skewed away from the citizenry, who accounted for 10-20% of the population of their own countries, and toward migrant workers from India, Pakistan, and the Philippines. Because of this dynamic, there was very little middle class; typically, the Arab citizens were quite wealthy – in many cases paid a stipend by the government – and the foreign workers were just trying to scrape together some money to send home.

I wasn’t sure how I, as a Western woman, would be received, but I found there was nothing to be concerned about. Firstly, the cities I was in were quite comfortable with the West, and Westerners were accorded a fairly high status (just below that of the Arab citizens). Secondly, the locals were quite polite – I did get some staring and pointing from the migrant worker group, but I chalked it up to a lack of good breeding and the fact that there’s a 3 to 1 male to female ratio among that class. The Arabs I ran into in general struck me as reserved, hospitable, fastidious, and family-oriented folk.

I considered talking about all three locations individually, but I think a description of Dubai should suffice. It is, after all, the measure by which the Gulf states are judged – and by which they judge themselves. Manama and Doha both want to be little Dubais and they have a long way to go. I almost feel bad for them; Dubai is a city where people who have more money than they know what to do with invest and where the planners smoke crack. If it’s the tallest, biggest, first, or best, Dubai has to have it.

Indoor ski slope in the desert? Check. (Ski Dubai, above right)

World’s tallest building? Check. (Burj Dubai, right)

World’s only seven star hotel? Check. (Burj al Arab, left)

Building man-made islands in the shape of palms… and the world… then the solar system… then the Milky Way galaxy? Building the world’s largest airport to serve the world’s largest amusement park? Check and check.

While the place has a definitely larger-than-life feel, it also offers some more traditional experiences. You can take an abra (water taxi) across Dubai Creek (an inlet that cuts Dubai roughly in half) for the equivalent of 30 cents and head off for an adventure in the souqs (markets). The souqs are covered walkways lined with shop after shop on either side. They are divided according to what they sell and my absolute favorites had to be the spice souq and the gold souq. The spice souq was the ultimate smell experience, with sacks full of saffron, dried roses, cumin, frankincense, and dried lemons. You could also find less smellful but equally interesting items like sea salt, pumice stones, and indigo. The gold souq was large (reputed to be the largest in the region – surprise, surprise) yet the amount of gold crammed into it was astounding. Some of the necklaces we saw must have weighed at least two pounds and were beautifully worked all over with filigree. They sell the gold according to weight and international market price – everyone was telling us we should have come a year earlier for some really good deals (ah well).

We also got to enjoy the beach resort area of Jumeirah a bit on our last day there. The water was startlingly clear and cool and the sands were white – much like what I imagine the Caribbean to be. The rules of dress and deportment were no different from an American beach (though at the “beach park” where we found ourselves, no photos were allowed and they did offer a special women-only day for the more modest). After browsing shops and walking alongside the little canals that connected the various hotels, we found a hotel bar (only hotels are allowed to serve alcohol) with a lovely veranda and view of the beach.

Sometime there, sipping my drink, watching the sun set over the Gulf, and enjoying the light show around the Burj al Arab, I decided – I really need to come back here sometime. Who’s up for Dubai ’09? :)

The Local News

2008-02-06T16:13:00.000-06:00

Just for you, mon amie...

Life here has been busy-ish of late: the past four days featured both a retreat and a business trip. The retreat was with a church group and quite refreshing. Elise, my friend from many years ago, carpooled with me and it was nice to have someone there that I knew. It was at a YMCA camp, which had beautiful surroundings, a nice common building, and the hardest, crackliest mattress/pallets on the planet. So we spent a lot of time not sleeping. There was a little hike (yay outdoors!), a bonfire with s'mores, and a dance party (featuring music from the 70s to present). There was, of course, teaching as well, which all centered on Matthew 11:1-19 - a very interesting passage for the discussion of the problem of evil, among other things. The teacher was a really excellent old missionary who reminded me a bit of Dr. Hake.

As soon as I got home from the retreat, I took my things out of my bag, put a pre-positioned pile of work clothes in, and headed to the airport. The travel was uneventful and the trip was a good one. I was traveling with my boss, a quintessential ENTP - creative and high-energy - so it was an action-packed trip. (One day featured ten hours of work - mostly meetings - followed by some local sightseeing and dinner.) Lodging did step up a notch from the camp to "ritzy hotel with king-sized feather bed." So the sleep I did get was sound :). It was a highly productive trip that'll be useful for a project I'm currently working on and a brief change of pace and place is always nice.

I started into The Consolation of Philosophy on the business trip, because it was near the top of my to-be-read pile and would fit in my purse for the flight. It's interesting, though I'm not sure I like it so much - there seem to be some biggish gaps in its logic. But I'll suspend judgment until I've come to the end; perhaps things are not as they seem. I'm also technically reading Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco, but I've been moving through it very slowly. The writing style and thoughts expressed are such that it deserves more attention than I can give in the evening when I'm tired, and the plot is so incredibly slow it's not as though I feel the need to race through it. But I like it, so I'll finish one of these days :).

LOST is back, be it ever so temporarily!!! !!! My life is happy. Need I say more? :) The writers' strike has been a pain. Good TV is a form of literature, in my opinion, and the strike has killed the literature and forced the production of the equivalent of the worst sorts of paperbacks. So the return of LOST, even for just eight episodes, is like a spring in the desert of my literary landscape.

This concludes our evening broadcast. You may now consider yourselves "up to date" on my life, the universe, and everything :).

Cheers!

Typing

2007-11-24T12:58:00.001-06:00

Yes, it has been for stinking ever since I last posted. Consider it... hibernation, or some such.

Anyhoo, I never seem to tire of playing with personality tests. Figuring out how the system on which the test is based works, how it applies to other people, etc. is as much fun as getting your own results. So, I have culled the web for some good ones and I present them here for y'all's enjoyment:

A familiar old friend, the MBTI, together with a newer one on intelligence types:

Here's one that's technically much older than Myers-Briggs, but newer to me - the Enneagram. In contrast to MBTI's focus on styles of taking in information and making decisions (which remain relatively static through adult life), the Enneagram type focuses on an individual's main drivers (what do you want, need, strive for) and can change throughout life. There are nine different types, designated by number. I exist somewhere between a 5 (knowledge seeking) and an 8 (power seeking) - today must have been an 8 day. You can read up on the system at this helpful site.

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

And, last but not least, some fun randomness (based on the above system). BWAHAHAHA!

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Happy New Year!

2007-09-12T16:33:00.000-05:00

Yes, you read that right. Sundown this evening will be greeted with shofar blasts marking the beginning of Rosh Hashanah, the high holy Jewish New Year. It’s a time for considering the past year in penitence – in preparation for Yom Kippur – and for anticipating the coming one with hope.

“According to Talmudic tradition, the Ten Days of Awe which begin at Rosh Hashana are the time in which God determines the fate of each human being. On Rosh Hashana, the wholly righteous are supposedly inscribed in the Sefer ha-Hayyim, or Book of Life, while the wholly wicked are inscribed in the Book of Death. The fate of all others hangs in the balance until Yom Kippur. Consequently, it is a time for introspection, for taking stock of one's behavior over the past year and making amends for any wrongdoing.”

Let us rejoice that our names have been written in heaven as we listen for the trumpet call announcing the final judgment and the New Age.

L’chaim!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2007-08-24T22:13:00.000-05:00

I was recently forced to part with a dear friend – my daily companion, patient listener to my mediations and rants, comrade in my adventures, always willing to give his all, always smiling in that distinctive way he had – my blue steed Lapis is mine no more.

I (and all the kings horses and men) had replaced his left front wheel after that unfortunate incident on the Roosevelt Memorial bridge. I had replaced his rear suspension. When he began to hemorrhage transmission fluid and coolant, I figured it was time that I put myself out of his misery. So I drove him to the dealership and traded him (and a hefty sum of money) for a lovely white palfrey.

Her name is Lily, short for Lily-of-the-Valley. I like that flower and, in the Victorian language of flowers, it means “return of happiness.” I chose the name partly in jest on all my troubles with Lapis, but mostly to be a reminder to never lose hope since “weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning.”

She has been an excellent car so far. She’s well-mannered, responsive, and petite – that is to say, very well suited for the sort of driving I do on a regular basis. She’s also quite young and eats less, so that’s some comfort as I have to start making monthly payments. All in all, I am thoroughly pleased with her.

"CCM"

2007-06-18T14:40:00.000-05:00

Contemporary Christian music generally gets a bad rap from music aficionados and theologians. Though it deserves a good bit of this, I try to steer clear from too much derision, as I enjoy such music in moderation. However, having listened to some songs that were an offense to my ears and mind, I couldn't help but make note of them here. Perhaps these singers and players would be better off if they hired poets to write their lyrics for them and just resigned themselves to singing and playing.

Apparently, some songwriters have trouble with the English language. A line like before the day, before the light/before the world revolved around the sun (in the otherwise good "Made to Worship") makes one wonder. Surely they could have said "earth," which would have fit the meter and rhyme and been more to the point than "world." Still we could grant them a bit of grace on a fairly philosophical front. A line that is completely without excuse is the answer lies in You/You hung to make me strong/Though my praise was few. What?! What sort of butchering of your native tongue is that? The man (Jeremy Camp, BTW) was so stuck on that line that he had to make up something hideously grammatically incorrect in order to fill it out.

Neither of those, however, even compares to what has got to be the worst all-round song out there: "When God Made You." The theology is non-existent - I wonder what God was thinking when He created you/I wonder if He knew everything I would need/Because He made all my dreams come true/When God made you, He must have been thinking about me. But I have to say, my favorite bit is when they try to create a metaphor. He made the sun, He made the moon/To harmonize in perfect tune/One can't move without the other/They just have to be together. Did these people never go to science class in middle school? Has no one told them that the moon may need the sun, but that the sun doesn't care two bits for the moon? One must wonder.

Do we have any poets to volunteer to right this travesty?

My People, Part 2

2007-05-02T18:16:00.000-05:00

Thanks, y’all, for the replies. I figure I ought to give an update:

Though not on the weekend I wanted to, I did get to visit the emerging church – and a fascinating visit it was. The day was one of the first pretty ones we’d had and, as I drove through some lovely countryside, I found myself much more interested in spending my day out on one of the farms than cooped up inside. Imagine my surprise when I drove up to a church that looked more like a barn, next to an historic farmhouse and situated on sixty-some-odd acres of land. It was a good first impression :).

Wonders did not cease, however, with the exterior. Though the service was very much what I am accustomed to (same music – same liturgy, but that’s a different story), some of the content was different. This is the only church I’ve ever been in that recognized the existence of Earth Day. The sermon spoke about God’s revelation in creation and our responsibility to care for it, not only as good stewards, but also as good neighbors to our fellow humans, particularly those less fortunate. And after the message, a member of the church who is an environmentalist for the Sierra Club gave some practical pointers on how normal people can be more “eco-friendly.” It was altogether a good service. Oh, and I should also mention that the church keeps bees and makes its own honey. Fascinating folk. I’ll have to re-visit sometime.

This past weekend, however, I returned to my home church. And that was a happy thing because, for better or worse (for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health), it is My Church. It’s where I’ve been set and it is where I will minister with the measure of grace I’ve been given. Heaven knows they need it, after all. There are so many – of all stripes and sides – who have experienced rejection and its attendant loneliness at the hands of fellow believers. (Indeed, un-love seems to be the major export of the Church – even to its own.) But I have to believe that we can turn that around. If my own pain can yield comfort for them, if my experience (and perhaps even my postmodern outlook) can provide them shelter and a place to stand, it all will have been worthwhile.

Looking for My People

2007-04-10T17:59:00.000-05:00

When I am around other Christians, I often feel out of place. Their language and attitudes are certainly not completely foreign to me, but neither are they my own, really. And I am increasingly aware that, should I express myself in my own way, they would not understand and I may even find myself the target of virulent opposition. I’ve been told many times that my penchant for taking a cost/benefit view of pretty much everything (including morality and salvation) are “worldly” and “unchristian.” And I certainly shouldn’t mention my predilection for postmodernism – association with it makes one “secular,” “irrational,” “dangerous,” and at least heterodox (if not completely heretical). Oh, and apparently being libertarian makes me “immoral” and “a child molester” (I won’t be forgetting that gem any time soon).

By way of analogy, in your average gathering of Christians (be it church, school, or whatever), I feel like a nerve cell that has found its way into group of muscle cells – I, at least, am fairly sure we’re part of the same body, but we’re not at all the same. While this may be good for both of us to deal with, I find it quite taxing on the best days – infuriating and depressing on the worst. So, this nerve cell is setting out to find some of her own kind. Be it ever so temporarily, I want to connect with other people like me, simply to confirm that they exist and to be able to relax, knowing I’m not going to be pounced upon.

To this end, I have found an emergent church in the area and plan on visiting them this coming Sunday. They may not be the fellows I’m looking for, but it seemed a logical place to begin the search. Any who are interested in searching with me or simply inspecting these curious emergent folks are welcome to join. Just zip me an email.

To friends who have put up with me in spite of my weirdnesses: thank you and God bless you.
To family and friends who have appreciated me because of them: I love you all muchly and couldn’t have survived if it weren’t for you.

Airplanes and Attitudes

2007-03-22T16:10:00.000-05:00

I was recently reading about aircraft naming conventions. We here in the US have chosen what seems to me a very solid system – aircraft are named for their function. Thus, an F-16 is a fighter, a C-130 is a cargo plane, a B-2 is a bomber, and so on. In Russia, however, they’ve chosen a different convention – instead of naming a plane for its function, they name it for its maker. For instance, the “MiG” of Hollywood fame is actually a category containing many different planes, all made by the same manufacturer: Mikoyen Gurevich.

Names are a funny phenomenon. Beyond being a sort of short-hand way of referring to a thing or group of like things, they generally are (or were at one point) descriptive of what the thing is; so couches are places where you rest, refrigerators keep things cold, and a car is a vehicle. That being the case, the above conventions become rather more interesting. While politics and bureaucracy go into such government systems, is it not intriguing that, to us, the best way to describe what our planes are is by what they do, while for the Russians, it is who made them that is most descriptive?

If this were only the case in the world of airplanes, that would be one thing, but, for better or worse, we generally treat people the same way. Here in America, you are what you do. In our democratic culture, family name and place of origin do not matter so much as what you individually contribute to society. If you ask who someone is, you’re likely to get the answer, “That’s John, he’s a lawyer/mechanic/professor/etc.” Certainly, down through our history, this focus has led to plenty of good “doing” by anyone who had the inclination. Yet perhaps we are sometimes too driven, irrationally concerned by our performance in the workplace, and missing out on the good things in life that we are ostensibly fighting for. Perhaps there are days when we need to slow down and see our world – and fellow human beings – through more “mystic,” Eastern eyes… For no matter what we do, for good or ill, we all bear the image of the same Maker.

Mostly Dead

2007-02-20T16:27:00.000-06:00

My computer is mostly dead. Which means it is slightly alive - hopefully alive enough to revive - but not enough for blog posts. Or any sort of communication for that matter. So, I wish you all well, and I shall return... sometime later.

Happy Feast of St. Brigid...

2007-02-01T13:11:00.000-06:00

... Patroness of Ireland, Mary of the Gaels, and founding abbess of Kildare.
(http://www.catholic-forum.com/Saints/saintb03.htm)

Good Reading

2007-01-17T13:11:00.000-06:00

I find myself in a rather odd but not completely unpleasant situation. I’m currently on an evening work schedule, which means my free time is on the front half of my day. At first I thought it would be annoying as I could have no social life – but it has occurred to me that I had no social life before, so there’s no loss on that score :). One of the more difficult things to figure out, however, has been entertainment. Previously when I got home in the evenings, I would watch TV because I was tired and there were good shows on. But I am not tired in the mornings and good daytime television is hard to come by.

So I have returned, at least for the present, to my first love: books. Heaven knows my reading list goes on forever (and some of it is incarnated in the “reading stack” growing under my side table – I’ve run out of space on the bookshelves), so the opportunity to whittle it down has been welcome. I have, in fact, just finished three books that I was reading simultaneously. I normally prefer to read one at a time, but sometimes reading them together provides an interesting interplay of ideas that one would otherwise miss – and this was one of those times. I liked them all to a certain degree, so I thought I would “advertise” them here :). I’d encourage anyone who had the inclination and time to recreate the three-book experiment, but any one of them would be good reading on its own.

A New Kind of Christian, by Brian McLaren
Recommended reading for anyone who wonders how someone can be a Christian and postmodern – because I get tired of explaining it myself :). McLaren is one of the leading voices in the “conversation” that is the emerging church and this is a work designed to introduce people to it. In it, he contrasts modern and postmodern Christianity (with a smattering of medieval, as well), quotes extensively from Lewis (including The Discarded Image), and does his best to cast a vision of what the Church can become in the coming age. I found it encouraging – it’s nice to know there are other Happy Postmodernists out there :). But you might want to bear in mind a few things while reading it: 1. The style is abysmal (as novels go) – read it as a philosophical dialogue and you’ll be happy. 2. It’s a postmodern work, so it’s not systematic. It’s logical and touches many major issues, but in a conversational form.

The Celtic Way of Evangelism, George Hunter
Hunter argues that the current culture is ripe for the reintroduction of the “Celtic way of evangelism,” which focuses on communities, hospitality, deep appreciation of local cultures, concern for the affairs of daily life as well as “the big questions,” and conversation. Against this he contrasts the “Roman way of evangelism,” which focuses on intellect, major existential questions, individual salvation, and imposition of Roman culture and “ways of doing church.” Ironically enough, this book comes to most of the same conclusions as McLaren’s, but found praise from people who, in the same breath, would denigrate the emergents. So, for those who have an anti-postmodern reflex, perhaps this would be a good gateway book :).

Tao te Ching, Lao Tsu
My knowledge of Eastern philosophy is next to nil, and I always liked the quotes Campeador was pulling out of this work, so I thought I’d start my Asian exploration here. I was not at all disappointed. The best way I could describe it would be a bag of Dove dark chocolates. Each chapter is a little nugget of chocolatey goodness that deserves to be savored in its own right and, if you’re sufficiently postmodern and philosophically inclined, it is quite calming and comforting. Not only that, but my edition (Vintage) has a rocking introduction by a fellow named Joseph Needleman that is worth its own reading. Good stuff.

Good riddance, Saddam!

2006-12-30T09:17:00.000-06:00

"When justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous"

In this world, justice can't always be done. Sometimes we don't have the knowledge or capability to make it happen; sometimes doing justice in one case would cause a greater injustice in another. But then there are those times, those precious times when we get the pleasure of seeing an evil man brought to a proper end. Saddam was a cruel shepherd of the people entrusted to him; he subverted justice and was certainly not a servant of God. So he was weighed and found wanting and now he gets to give an accounting to the King of Kings.

It is good to know that justice is alive and well.

The Den Gets an Upgrade

2006-11-18T15:02:00.000-06:00

At long last, The Couch has arrived. I am quite pleased - it is everything I wanted it to be. All in the general vicinity are cordially invited to come and partake of its cushy leathery-ness. :)

Know Thyself, or In Praise of Extracurriculars

2006-11-10T10:48:00.000-06:00

I sat rather peevishly at my desk one quiet afternoon, being bored and listening to my ambition grumble. It was upset, it seems, because it had nothing to sink its teeth into. And it was right. There was nothing going on at the moment and nothing really substantial promised to be going on for a while. So I consoled it with the promise of future prey and began charting a hypothetical path toward management. It would be perfectly possible, but it would take a while. My ambition, being impatient like the rest of me, grumbled some more.

It was at this point that I began to wonder – why did I feel this way? What made me think such things were possible or even desirable? The answer was easy – past experience with Eden Troupe, the fencing club, and organizing a couple dances. I had learned more about my own desires and abilities through those experiences than any other at school. And, having tasted it once, I was spoiling to do it again. I miss the strategizing, the envisioning, the managing of people and budgets, and, perhaps most of all, the execution – making things happen and seeing a plan come to life. Those are the things that make me happy, because they require every ounce of who I am – not just this or that part, leaving the rest to be bored.

But such opportunities are few and far between for people of my age. There are times when I wish I could buy a colonel’s commission, like Washington, and skip these intermediate stages. But then, would I really want my beginner’s mistakes to touch off a world war? I think not :). So, for me, the best thing I can do is to simply bide my time and snag opportunities as they come by, moving slowly but inexorably toward my goal.

But for y’all still at school: Join extracurricular activities – don’t just play on the fringes, really get into it. Find out what you love to do and do it. What you learn there can be worth as much as everything you’ll learn in the classroom.

2006-11-02T15:50:00.000-06:00

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty;

The whole earth is filled with His glory.

To Be

2006-10-14T17:48:00.000-05:00

So I was amusing myself with some web-surfing of linguistic sites, and in my browsing I came across an interesting fact (which is presumably true): Turkish is the most regular language in the world with only two irregular words, one noun (water) and one verb. Anyone want to guess the verb?

Yep, it’s that perpetually-irregular-no-matter-what-the-language verb: to be. Not even the most regular language in the world can get it right. Which makes you wonder… is this all just a grand coincidence or is there some philosophical or psychological reason for it?

“To be,” after all, is one of the most basic and important concepts a language can convey. It cuts right to the chase of reality and thus finds its way into all sorts of communication. In fact, a brief count reveals that I’ve used it six times in the past seven sentences. So why does this most important of words get “irregular status?”

Is it that people could regularize other irregular verbs inherited from their forebears, but “to be” is used with such frequency that no one could make the switch?

Does it show a certain respect for a common yet indispensable word, by giving it a form all its own?

Or does it perhaps reveal our own limitations in perceiving and describing reality, such that we cannot even master our own word for it?

What do you think?

Quests of Yesterday

2006-10-03T16:41:00.000-05:00

For those who have not read the tales of Sinbad, the basic storyline is easy to follow:
Sinbad leaves home to travel to distant lands, where he has many crazy adventures and misadventures. Surviving by the skin of his teeth (but often with some sort of prize), he returns home, where he vows to live out his days in tranquility. But after a while, his wanderlust gets the better of him… Da capo.

I often find myself sympathizing with Sinbad. Yesterday was case in point.

I needed to acquire some Most Precious License Plate Screws. So I betook me to the local market, wherein I found almost no place to leave my trusty steed and no merchants offering what I wanted. One of the sellers, however, was kind enough to point me toward where I might find them. So I spurred Lapis toward Parts Mostly Unknown and, after one u-turn, some blinding sunlight, and an odd roundabout, I successfully arrived in the Domain of AutoZone. The kind AutoZonians did indeed have the treasures I sought – in many varieties, in fact – and were willing to part with them for only a small sum. With them I returned home, tired from my travels, but happy to have acquired these most effective and exotic of Screws.

No sooner had I set foot in the door, however, than my stomach reminded me that it was dinnertime. And nothing sounded better to my hunger than the mellifluous tones of the Great Taco Bell. Consulting the All-Knowing Google, I discovered that I could not find such a Bell nearby. Getting to the nearest one would take a great feat of navigating, and such is the magic of the roads hereabout (like unto some of the staircases at the fabled Hogwarts) that I must needs take a different route to get back. It would also require that I travel roads of great size, which might, if I were not careful, swallow me and spit me out far from home. Yet I was hungry, so I set out hoping that I could find my desire – and subsequently find my way home. My first essay at the roads was unsuccessful, so I contrived to make a loop of them and in ten minutes returned to the difficult spot. I am glad to say the second run was successful and Lapis sped me toward my goal. Once there, I found a large stables for my steed, thinking the rest of the journey would be easier made on foot. I entered a great market and found, at the far end of the lowest level, the Shrine of the Bell. The workers there gave me two Golden Chalupas for my dinner, which I resolved to carry home – should I ever arrive there again. However, after redeeming Lapis from the stable, the trip home was a great success, due to much wary watching of the tricksome roads on my part and great adroitness on the part of my blue mount.

So here I sit in the safety of my Den and here I vow to stay in peace and tranquility… at least for today.

Bits and Pieces

2006-09-25T17:28:00.000-05:00

I have nothing to say really… nothing worth a whole blog post, anyway. So I will post many little, unconnected thoughts :).

Fall is a wonderful time of year. It is bright and earthy and sweet and spicy; it is dying and full of life. It makes me excited.

Sound mixing is fun. To get your mix to the point of perfection, where you can hear each voice and instrument and yet they all blend seamlessly into one… this is audible bliss.

Flight is total coolness. It shouldn’t work, really. This relatively simple business about the varying pressures of flowing liquids should not be able to lift hundreds of tons of metal into the sky.

Despite our many gains in the field of flight, we still can’t outdo tiny hummingbirds. I think God must find this amusing.

I need to make a functioning armillary sphere part of my apartment décor.

Shopping for couches involves much plotting and deciding and is a very enjoyable diversion.

This Day in History

2006-09-11T21:29:00.000-05:00

I have a particular affection for this day, and yet, I can barely watch TV without being assaulted by news of what happened five years ago. It was neither good nor astounding the first time around. Why do people insist on reliving it each year?

To provide some perspective, I provide you with other September 11th happenings, good and bad, of as great or greater import than the happenings of five years ago:

3 BC: Some suggest this as the actual date of Christ's birth.

1297: Wallace beat the English at the Battle of Sterling Bridge.

1649: Cromwell's troops sacked Drogheda and killed the entire garrison.
1683: Jan Sobieski halted the Turkish invasion of Europe at the Battle of Vienna.
1777: The British won the Battle of the Brandywine in the Revolution.
1786: The Annapolis Convention (precursor to the Constitutional Convention) is convened.

1906: Ghandi began his non-violent movement for Indian freedom.

1933: While waiting for a red light, Leo Szilard conceived the idea of the nuclear chain reaction.
1971: Khrushchev died.
1973: In Chile, Pinochet's coup toppled Allende.
1978: The Camp David accords were signed by Sadat and Begin.
1989: The first part of the iron curtain fell in Hungary.
1990: President Bush (I) threatened to expel Iraqi soldiers from Kuwait.

A Moment of Bliss

2006-09-01T14:37:00.000-05:00

It is breezy and cool and rainy outside - a blessed relief from the still, hot, and parched of the last couple weeks.

And I got a half day off at work because it's a three day weekend. (Yeah, the logic's interesting, but I'm not arguing :).)

And there are chocolate chip cookies cooling on the ironing board.

And I am eating a gooey-centered one with a glass of milk.

There is a God and He loves me.

God Has a Sense of Humor

2006-08-28T16:25:00.000-05:00

One of the opening songs in church this Sunday was "You Said" - better known, perhaps, as the one which goes "'Ask and I'll give the nations to you.' O Lord, that's the cry of my heart...." etc. So there I am, singing along, when it occurs to me that, in any context other than that song, me talking about obtaining the nations would have more to do with setting up the Pax Gabica than the sweet missions sentiment being expressed. God and I shared a private chuckle. The service moved on.

We came to a responsive reading of Psalm 2, whence the line about asking for the nations comes. About mid-way through most of the congregation was confusedly but perseverently mumbling the text as I thought to myself "Now there's a song!" Psalm 2, for your edification:

Why are the nations in an uproar
And the peoples devising a vain thing?
The kings of the earth take their stand
And the rulers gather together
Against the Lord and against His Anointed, saying
“Let us tear their fetters apart
and cast away their cords from us!”

He who sits in the heavens laughs,
The Lord scoffs at them.
Then He will speak to them in His anger
And terrify them in His fury, saying
“But as for Me, I have installed My King
Upon Zion, My holy mountain.”

“I will surely tell of the decree of the Lord:
He said to Me: ‘You are my Son,
Today I have begotten You.
Ask of Me, and I will surely give the nations as Your inheritance
And the very ends of the earth as your possession.
You shall break them with a rod of iron,
You shall shatter them like earthenware.

Now, therefore, O kings, show discernment;
Take warning of judges of the earth.
Worship the Lord with reverence
And rejoice with trembling.
Do homage to the Son, that He not become angry and you perish in the way,
For His wrath may soon be kindled.
How blessed are all who take refuge in Him!

And now for something completely different...

2006-08-16T16:03:00.000-05:00

A new post is needed, but what to say? Another review would be a bit much. And I'm not feeling very newsy (not that I ever do much). So I've decided to do something I've not done before - post one of those little personality quizzes that are so plentiful on the web and other people's blogs. So, here you are. Gabi's internet personality quiz pick of the day :) :

Which Mix of the Hogwarts Houses Are You?

My own results, should you be curious:
You're a Slytherclaw! By nature you are rational and a realist. Some people may call you cynical and elitist but this doesn't matter to you. You don't depend on other people's opinions to determine how you live your life. You are generally cautious and prefer to weigh the consequences before you act. In conflicts you prefer to remain neutral and aloof. You value intelligence and you are a natural diplomat, you can convince people to do what you want them to do. Your weakness is that you sometimes think more with your head than with your heart and it leads to isolation. With the intelligence of a Ravenclaw and the subtlety of a Slytherin you will be sure to achieve all your goals!

Hrm. A PS to the Last

2006-07-26T18:56:00.000-05:00

Sarah, it seems, does not share my opinions. It is not, by any stretch, a normal movie; I suppose I should have given more of a review. By saying "one of Story's finest hours" I mean not that it is an excellent story itself, but that it is about stories and authorship. Spoilers lurk below.

Part of its charm, to me, is that it is wildly unrealistic and yet, to use an annoying but helpful bit of grammar, Realistic. It's a fairy tale - a bedtime story. The basic thrust of the plot is simple, the characters are iconic, the conflict is basic. But this is a fairy tale meant to make a point about fairy tales, so it contains plenty of food for thought. [Obviously, if you don't like literature being self-referential, this is not for you :).]

It's about the inspiration of stories: There is an author, for whose inspiration a certain muse (whose name is Story) has been sent. Then, we are told, the work of the author will be the inspiration for another man to effect great, good change. In broader terms, it is about everyone, not just writers, maintaining their link in the chain of events. To be able to do this, they must realize that there is a Story being told in which they are characters, each with a distinct role and purpose. [The presence of an Author is not directly addressed but can be sensed. There is someone watching out for the characters and telling the story. In this movie, as in Signs, Shyamalan has cast himself in the role of God.]

The tragedy of the critic is that he didn't get any of this. He believed that things like romantic reunions in the rain are just trite lies that we tell ourselves via story - such things have no basis in fact, not even symbolically. He missed the Real in looking at the real. So when he found himself in the midst of the Story, he misunderstood the characters and the plot. Using his supposed knowledge, he gave bad advice to our heros. And when he found himself face to face with an Enemy, all he could do was comfort himself with trite lies he didn't believe.

That, at least, is the essence I came away with.

Oh. Wow.

2006-07-22T19:04:00.000-05:00

I just got back from seeing Shyamalan's latest: Lady in the Water. It is one of Story's finest hours. It ought to be mandatory viewing for anyone who aspires to write.

So why are you still here? Get to your local theater posthaste! :)

Blessed

2006-07-18T16:43:00.000-05:00

“We thank you, Lord, for all the blessings of this life…”

It’s been a good day… a good week, so far. So I can think of nothing more fitting than to list some of the many things I have to be thankful for:
Air conditioning
Living in a country removed from war
Triple shot grande mochas
The book of Proverbs
A meaningful job
Bailey’s Irish Cream (aka “nectar of the gods”)
Lapis and Vladimir, my faithful servants
Brother Lawrence
Disposable income
Coworkers with senses of humor – and Belgian chocolates :)
Fun TV shows like Stargate, Smallville, House, and Lost
Augustine (and accompanying happy memories of Drs. Bates and Mitchell)

“We exalt you, O God our King, and praise Your name for ever and ever.”

A Tale of Two Captains

2006-07-15T11:30:00.000-05:00

[Last Sunday I saw Pirates II… and the movie really deserves a response. However, it’s taken some time for me come up with what I think about it. This commentary is vague enough that you could read it before watching the movie, if you want.]

Jack Sparrow and Malcolm Reynolds (of Firefly/Serenity). The two characters are remarkably similar. Both are anti-heroes thrust into heroic situations. Both love their ships, which they consider their source of freedom, and their crews. Both hate the bad guys but neither gets on well with society at large, either. Both are practical realists, willing to do what is necessary to get the job done. And both happen to be among my favorite literary characters :).

All well and good, but what’s the point? Just this – that these two remarkably similar characters end up taking markedly different paths. Mal ends up the “hero” in the end and Jack… well… it’s hard to tell. So why the difference? In short, the abilities of their authors. Jack’s character was tweaked, ever so slightly, in Pirates II, but it was enough to set him down a different course. The writers took away – or greatly diminished – his ability to love.

The problem is, love is the saving grace of both Jack and Mal. For these self-preservational fellows, love imparts a wider sense of self. That is, the idea that “me without you is not worthwhile/bearable/good” enables them to sacrifice themselves without destroying their character. Neither has a highly developed sense of duty, so it’s love alone that lets them act heroically.

Mal is fortunate in that Whedon (his author) seems to have recognized this fact. He is deeply devoted to his ship and crew, and, to a much lesser extent, the rest of humanity. This is why he’s the good guy. Without that love, he would lose his moral footing and end up like Jayne (pure mercenary). Whedon understands his character, particularly his character’s motivations, and the way the world works. So we have a likeable, coherent character in a likeable, coherent story (minus some of the glitches between Firefly and Serenity).

Jack, on the other hand, has been less fortunate. The writers of Pirates seem to be a bit more confused about who they’re dealing with and where they’re going. (Of course, we haven’t reached the end yet, so it’s still anybody’s game.) In the first movie Jack had some sense of loyalty or attachment – to his ship, his crew, and his friends, Will and Elizabeth. The second movie denies this completely... while at the same time relying on it as a foundation. Throughout the movie, Jack is entirely self-centered, lacking any ties to anyone – we even see him beating a retreat from his beloved Pearl at one point. He has become merely mercenary. However, many of his schemes in this movie wouldn’t work if he hadn’t proved himself at least slightly trustworthy in the previous movie. Likewise, the end of this movie (and beginning of the next) could not happen unless he had a group of devoted friends – which is hard to come by if you’re so completely disloyal. So we’re left with a strange situation: either Jack is a good guy who’s been abused by his authors, or he’s a sociopath. I’m voting for the first.

So, by all means, see Pirates II. It’s fun – hilarious at points, it’s thought-provoking, and, if nothing else, it’s a bridge to the third movie, which may yet make a good end of things. However, bear in mind that the author(s) failed to understand at least one of the main characters and the story suffers for it – at least in comparison to the original.

The Greening of PHC

2006-07-13T16:25:00.000-05:00

In honor of Dr. Walker’s call for fasting and prayer, I post the following lyrics. Michael Card wrote them (obviously) for the city of Belfast, Northern Ireland, torn at the time by Catholic vs. Protestant violence.

In a green, green land, riding on the sea,
Live a people who speak like a song.
But their fertile field lies so fallow and bare
And has borne bitter fruit for so long.

Pray for the greening of Belfast,
That what is now barren might bloom and be fair.
God loves the city of Belfast,
For so many children who love Him live there.

The verdant hills, like strong arms, embrace
A heart-breaking, heart-broken town.
With the air so full of angels there,
It’s not hard to imagine the sound
Of their cries and tears, of their pleas and prayers
For their city to know peace once more.
Let the fighting cease, let the saints be released
To join in true spiritual war.

Pray for the greening of Belfast,
That what is now barren might bloom and be fair.
God loves the city of Belfast,
For so many children who love Him live there.

Proud to Be an American

2006-07-03T15:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Fourth!

....

The Da Vinci Code

2006-06-18T15:02:00.000-05:00

I have (finally) read the controversial bestseller. I felt compelled toward this for a couple reasons. One, I’m highly skeptical of many Christian book reviewers. They lack subtlety. Two, I felt that if I wanted to consider myself cultured, I ought to know about one of culture’s most recent and beloved firestorms. If nothing else, it gives one something better to discuss than the weather. On that note, I give you my own review. [Fair warning: It’s longish. And there's a fair-to-good chance I'll tick someone off. :)]

As a Story
This is the easiest bit, so I put it first. The story is a standard adventure story: many implausibilities, non-stop action, puzzles, and plot twists. It certainly made for a quick and pleasant read. The puzzles were actually rather fun – they were pretty decent and added a different element to the reading experience. The characters were somewhat endearing, though not very distinct and rather stupid. There was more than once that I wanted to whack them over the head to tell them to hurry up and figure things out already. The plot kept up a racing pace and didn’t drop any of its threads… which is about all you could ask of it, considering the genre :).

But that’s obviously not why people are talking about this book… It is the book’s themes that have set off the current reaction. People are interested in its underlying assumptions and factual basis (or lack thereof). So, what’s all the fuss about?

Factual Difficulties
Yes, Brown’s got trouble with some of his facts – or, rather, the book contains many factual errors that people have decided to take as truth (since technically the book does not claim that these things are true… not that it claims they’re not either). The Council of Nicea did not make the first declaration of Jesus’ divinity. The Gnostic gospels are not lost Christian writings friendly to women (Gospel of Thomas, anyone?). Jesus and Mary Magdalene were not married. But y’all are educated folk and I don’t need to tell you these things. What I find more interesting than the factual errors themselves are the themes they are used to support. What is it that Brown really cares about?

Themes
1. The Sacred Feminine
Brown posits that the Church has destroyed the sacred feminine. In order to understand this statement, we first need to understand what he means by “sacred feminine.” He means feminine deity – or at least the communicated attributes of the Feminine and the Divine. His idea of the Feminine, however, contains echoes of Freud. Woman is summed up in her sexuality alone and is defined by what she offers to men. He says all cultures used to have goddesses (and their various rites) to fill this need, but that the Church saw this as a threat to its power and destroyed it.

This is a tangly little mess. He’s on the right track… but headed in the wrong direction. Too many Christians, when they hear “sacred feminine” think “evil” and run away in the other direction… playing right into the hands of Brown, et al. What we need to realize is that we have a concept of the sacred feminine and that ours is more complete than theirs. While a woman’s sexuality is an important part of who she is, it is not her end and be all. Man and woman are both created in the image of God and each one shows forth His essence in different ways. We hear about God’s feminine attributes often, but don’t call them out for what they are: beauty, life-bringing, wisdom, mystery, nurture, and protection. Perhaps, if we did refer to them for what they are, there would be less room for mistaken accusation from people like Brown.

2. Christian Symbology
Brown also makes the accusation that the Church’s symbology is nothing more than retreaded pagan symbology. (That is, the Church isn’t doing anything new, it’s just borrowing from old religions.)

I’m not here to argue that the Church’s symbology is wholly new to it and has no roots in previous pagan worship practices. The thing is, I don’t see any problem with this – I’m all for “plundering the Egyptians.” If Plato had some really awesome things to say that can be made Christian by Augustine, if the Celtic cross contains elements that were at one time pagan, if Baldr makes a good Christ figure – why shouldn’t we appropriate what is good and right from other peoples’ myths and symbols? Of course, it’s always best to do this knowingly, so that we have a reasoned response for those who, like Brown, do not understand. Too few Christians care about symbols at all these days and too many would be frightened by Brown’s claim that their symbols were formerly pagans’.

3. The Nature of Religion
Brown’s final contention is that all religions, Christianity included, are just the work of men seeking to understand the incomprehensible. From our intrepid hero: “…every faith in the world is based on fabrication. That is the definition of faith – acceptance of that which we imagine to be true, that which we cannot prove. Every religion describes God through metaphor, allegory, and exaggeration, from the early Egyptians through modern Sunday school. Metaphors are a way to help our minds process the unprocessible. The problems arise when we begin to believe literally in our own metaphors.” They are, in a sense, noble lies that help us (or, at least, those of us not “in the know”) get through life.

Oh, the potential… Sure, his definition of faith is off by a hair… and his idea of Christianity as metaphor is warped… but hidden there in that statement is also an excellent argument for the via negativa (an item that gets little publicity even within the Church, no wonder that Brown doesn’t get it). We call God “Father” and “King” and, for that matter, “He.” But we must also remember that these descriptions fall short. Sunday school, rightly done, ought not to be like the religion of the ancient Egyptians, because it is not really about religion at all. It is about a relationship with the Indescribable.

In the end, whether he meant to or not, Brown has done good through his book – he has made people think. He has made non-Christians curious about Christian things. He has challenged Christians to study why they believe what they believe. The Da Vinci Code has raised a lot of questions in a lot of minds. Now it is our joy to use the gifts of knowledge that we’ve been given to help answer them.

Life's Little Victories

2006-05-31T16:31:00.000-05:00

“An isle of the dead what cannot be found, except for those who already know where it is.”

That just about sums up my apartment… minus, perhaps, the dead part. You cannot end up here accidentally and even if you want to get here, you have to work for it. Somehow, I am located in a place where all roads go in the wrong direction and are littered with “no left turn” signs.

So: today is the first time in almost exactly a week of living here that I have gotten home from work without getting turned around, "jayed off in a knothole," spat across the river, or otherwise thrown off course. :)

Taking Stock

2006-05-25T16:12:00.000-05:00

Well, here I am. I’ve finally achieved what I’ve wanted so much.

I’ve finished my schooling and “escaped.”
I’ve become a full-time member of the workforce for more than just a summer.
I have my own residence.
I am an adult.

And you know… it feels nice. :)

To My Friends

2006-05-17T15:24:00.000-05:00

A moment lost for ever more
Can never be again.
So know how much it means to me -
All you've said, all you gave, all your love to me.

My travels continue ever onward, and now take a different path from yours. I am sad that this turn should separate us and will always treasure the memories of the leg of the trip that I have been able to share with you. I hope that your own travels proceed with love and excellence - and that and our paths may intersect again before we reach the End :). To Camilla, The Dark Forest, and the Green Apples: Thanks, guys :).

And what better way to say farewell than with a favorite Irish drinking song? :)
My ship lies at harbor, she's ready to dock;
I wish her safe landing without any shock.
And if ever I should meet you by land or by sea,
I'll always remember your kindness to me.
So here's a health to the company, and one to my lass.
Let us drink and be merry all out of one glass -
Let us drink and be merry our grief to refrain,
For we may and might never meet here again.

The Here and Now

2006-05-11T21:19:00.000-05:00

“All his life has he looked away.... Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph.” - Yoda

In a conversation many days ago, my interlocutor asked me what there was to love about modern America. We like old England rather a lot… but we can’t put up with the here and now. This is a problem.

Partly, this problem stems from the fact that we are not living in old England (or insert here whatever time you consider to be the “good old days”). If we were, many of us would probably consider a portrait of modern America to be heaven. But familiarity breeds contempt… so every now and again we need to step back and evaluate our situation anew.

First off, we need to realize that by simply living in 21st century America, we are hugely blessed. Consider all the tools we have available – things like blogs and Google and graphing calculators. Consider how comfortable our lives are – indoor plumbing, central air conditioning, medicines. Consider that we live at peace in the most prosperous country on earth. That all of us, men and women, are well-educated members of this society. These are new things that Jane Austen never could have dreamed of – and that many in the world still cannot. For many of them, poverty and oppression – a “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short” life – is the norm.

Secondly, isn’t there something in Americana that inspires a certain love? Foreign countries are, believe it or not, foreign :). While it is fun to visit them and interact with them, we aren’t them. Because, whether we know it or not, we’re American. America is the land of the free and the home of the brave. We’re democrats and proud of it. (Sure, part of me says I’d like to be in an aristocracy… if I can be an aristocrat… and still treat everyone I meet as my equal.) We’re the underdogs who won. Our society reveres dreamers who accomplished something great on a wing and a prayer. We’re cowboys. We’re rough and ready and we plunge in where angels fear to tread. We’re not about words but deeds. Not about appearance but substance. And though we may look a bit unkempt on the outside, we have a big heart.

But I don’t expect you to take my word for it. It’s really the sort of thing you have to experience, if you haven’t already. So, here are my suggestions:
If you get a chance to travel in-country, take it. See its many faces (both human and geographical) – get acquainted with your homeland and fall in love with its mountains, plains, deserts and rolling hills.
Read – or at least remember – US history. Recall our heroes – men of honor, like Washington; men of vision and determination, like Edison; men of valor, like the many who died on foreign soil, protecting our freedom and that of other nations.
Travel internationally whenever you have the chance. There is no better way to discover that you are an American. People often seem to think they’ve “missed their calling” until they try out the other ones available.

Just don’t ever forget how blessed we are to live in the here and now. Twenty-first century America is a great nation, one of the greatest the earth has ever seen. If we do not see how we are blessed in this regard – if we do not see that we have been given much – we will not see the needs that we can fulfill – that is, that much is required of us.

A Lament

2006-04-01T13:20:00.000-06:00

I found myself (re)reading this poem this afternoon and it struck me as far too apropos to our current situation to let it pass unmentioned. Those who have read the Harry Potter books will understand.

In times of old, when I was new,
And Hogwarts barely started,
The founders of our noble school
Thought never to be parted.
United by a common goal,
They had the selfsame yearning
To make the world's best magic school
And pass along their learning.
"Together we will build and teach"
The four good friends decided.
And never did they dream that they
Might some day be divided.
For were there such friends anywhere
As Slytherin and Gryffindor?
Unless it was the second pair
Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw,
So how could it have gone so wrong?
How could such friendships fail?
Why, I was there, so I can tell
The whole sad, sorry tale. …
So Hogwarts worked in harmony
For several happy years,
But then discord crept among us
Feeding on our faults and fears.
The Houses that, like pillars four,
Had once held up our school
Now turned upon each other and
Divided, sought to rule.
And for a while it seemed the school
Must meet an early end,
What with dueling and with fighting
And the clash of friend on friend.
And at last there came a morning
When old Slytherin departed
And though the fighting then died out
He left us quite downhearted.
And never since the founders four
Were whittled down to three
Have the Houses been united
As they once were meant to be. …

Grace

2006-03-31T22:26:00.000-06:00

Well, this afternoon I’d thought maybe to post something a bit light-hearted. But I can’t quite bring myself to that right now. The school has seen yet another “record low” today. This is getting to be a saddening and disturbing trend. But there is always grace for the moment. In this case, it was the common grace of fencing. :)

Of course, there is something very therapeutic about flaying someone with a saber. (Many thanks to Jeremiah and Michael who agreed to be on the receiving end :)!) But there is more to it than that. Some good solid exertion has moved me from depressed and listless to energized and exhausted. And granted, Jeremiah and Michael gave back a good percentage of what they got :). Bruises are their own means of grace. They have a way of intruding themselves upon your thoughts and, if not completely desirable, at least the physical discomfort can keep your mind off the emotional stuff. And endorphins are not to be underestimated.

The bruises also make me realize the physical realities around me which I’ve allowed to go by the wayside. It’s been an impeccable spring, but a largely unenjoyed one, since my thoughts have been elsewhere. Somehow listening to the birds and looking at the pretty flowers and feeling the soft breeze did not seem like appealing activities. So I will tomorrow. It is Sat., so I can get up in time to watch the sun rise (haven’t done that in a while) and I will help sew costumes for Eden Troupe and I will pray.

So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD."
I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
Lamentations 3:18-26

Despair and Hope

2006-03-27T22:01:00.000-06:00

I have not posted anything on my blog in a while, I suppose. It’s not that I haven’t been journaling – it’s just that none of it was ever going to make it to the public forum of my blog. But having now sifted through my emotions and thoughts – and having left my blog dormant for more than a month – I figured I may as well expound/emote from my little soapbox.

I have had, recently, much cause for sadness and general distress. A metaphysical tornado has destroyed what has been a beloved home to me for the past four years – a place I’ve felt safe and loved. By this disaster I do not mean only the recent resigning of our professors – this destruction has been in process since at least last semester; their resignation was just the most recent and confirming symptom of something that I have been feeling more and more. Now I see it fully. My home has been simultaneously destroyed and recreated and I do not belong to this new thing. It does not want me (whether it knows it consciously or not) and I, seeing it for what it is, do not want it either. I have packed my mental bags and am ready to go… yet I must live on in an uncomfortable tension for the next month and a half until I can graduate and flee into exile. I feel like I should be dead to this “world,” but I’m forced to still live here, eking out each day until I can leave. Metaphorical suicide – removing myself once for all – would sound like a wonderful option if it weren’t so darned impractical.

While I have lost just about all hope for the school, there are a few things I can take comfort in. Like my church or Dr. George and his lecture. There is life outside – life that is unaffected by what happens here. There are Christians who love each other and who can work together toward a common goal. There are thoughtful Christians out there who do make a positive impact. There are charitable Christians out there who refuse to fanatically support false dichotomies. There are even some who think that a postmodern, utilitarian Christian is not an oxymoron and does have a contribution to make. And ultimately, as Phillips, Craig, and Dean sing, “the power is still where it’s always been.” This doesn’t prevent sorrow, but it does prevent despair. God is still in control, still working through His people, and, whatever the fate of the school, all of this will be good for me and my brothers and sisters. And that fills me with hope.

Mes Pensees Courantes

2006-02-07T11:01:00.000-06:00

First part: Misery of man without God.
Second part: Happiness of man with God….

Men despise religion. They hate it and are afraid it may be true. The cure for this is first to show that religion is not contrary to reason, but worthy of reverence and respect.
Next make it attractive, make good men wish it were true, and then show that it is.
Worthy of reverence because it really understand human nature.
Attractive because it promises true good.
(Pascal’s Pensees)

We invariably get the first parts right. We know that man is miserable without God and we believe that our religion is respectable. But how often do we miss out on the second parts? All too often, we do not seem to really believe that man is happy with God. We think he is just “better off” or “will be happy in the end.” In the here and now, he is just slogging through life, obeying the law, going through the motions. He believes that God is powerful and worthy of reverence, but, in his heart of hearts, he doubts His love and goodness. With this as all we have to offer, is it any surprise that people don’t find religion attractive? We are not offering them “true good.” We are offering them something we call good, but at which we grimace and groan. Great witness, that.

Yet how often have I been that man who doubts the goodness of God? It is, I would say, the number one cause for sin in my life. Too often I buy the lie that God does not really want my good – not the way I do – so I’ll do it my way. I’ve been cursed (and blessed) with a heaping dose of what Mansfield would call “recalcitrance” or “naysaying” :
“[A law] cannot be exact because it is addressed to human beings, who are recalcitrant to reason. And their recalcitrance, though by no means simply deplorable, takes the form of a stubborn insistence that no matter how reasonable the law or how wise the lawgiver, I want to be able to say ‘no.’ … Naysaying stems from the brute fact that every human being has a separate body that constitutes his unshareable self-interest. Someone can be wiser than you, but since he cannot care for your body to the extent you can, and also must look out for his own, the suspicion always arises that his wisdom is not applicable to your good, and hence you insistence on a right to veto him.”
So, heading off on my own path, trusting more firmly in my love for myself than God’s, I reserve the right to veto Him. There are, I think, few things in the world more idiotic.

Yet there is one great destroyer of recalcitrance: love. Not love on the part of the recalcitrant – good luck finding that (as Machiavelli noted). This love is that of the Lawmaker for the recalcitrant. Why? “By the fact that anyone loves another, he wills good to that other. Thus he puts the other [Derrida, anyone? ;)], as it were, in the place of himself, and regards the good done to him as done to himself. So far love is a binding force, since it joins another to ourselves, and refers his good to our own. And in this way too the divine love is a binding force, in as much as God wills good to others.” (Aquinas)

This is good enough a definition for two human beings, but God goes a step farther. God and I are not just two people, united by a common good. For I’ve been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. That is to say, I am my Beloved’s and He is mine. His mind, spirit, and life are mine. I am a member of his Body. We are inseparably one. Here my recalcitrance is trumped. Here my “fears are stilled and strivings cease.” This is happiness. God help me to live it.

From the Happy Postmodernist...

2006-02-03T14:19:00.000-06:00

I don't think I've ever posted an article link before... so this shall be a first. I found this one this afternoon as I assiduously ignored any sort of assignments I have next week :). It's longish, but it's on the subject of the relation between postmodernism and theology, Derrida and Karl Barth. Good (if slightly dense at times) stuff :).

...Oh, and for those who may be skeptical, it's from First Things... Happy reading :).

http://www.leaderu.com/ftissues/ft9703/opinion/mckenna.html

2006-01-18T22:39:00.000-06:00

Long, long journey through the darkness,

Long, long way to go,

But what are miles across the ocean

To the heart that's coming home?

- Enya

Smallville, et al.

2006-01-06T17:27:00.000-06:00

Over New Year’s weekend, the bellatrices of Camilla rode again – this time in the sleepy town of Louisville…. Sarah had brought the fourth season of Smallville along and persuaded Ashlea and me to try it. We got hooked. I think we watched something like episodes 5 through 19 over two days. And, considering the dispositions of the viewers, much discussion was put into the story’s more interesting elements. All of this (mixed with a dash of Ben’s blog and Dr. Bates’ lectures) gave rise to the following thoughts…

The characters of Smallville are largely unsatisfactory because they are morally shallow. Clark, our “heroic” main character, has only trite moral aphorisms, with no reason backing them. His morals are simply “the done thing.” Except, they’re rarely even that. While he holds that other people ought to abide by certain rules, he is, after all, the “ubermann” – those morals don’t always apply to him.

He has a form of morality, but denies the power thereof – love. [In fact, most of the first bit of 2 Tim. 3 is rather applicable…] Without love, all the virtue in the world is not ultimately sufficient. Intriguingly, the series seems to be exploring this idea (albeit more like a man blindly groping through a cave than a spelunker with a map).

Take, for instance, Clark’s current relationship with our future bad guy, Lex Luthor. Lex is one person with whom Clark’s trite aphorisms simply don’t fly… but Clark doesn’t have anything more substantive to offer. Because of this he alienates Lex in a reverse Beauty and the Beast fashion. In rejecting Lex, Clark makes him more “rejectable.” In L’engle-ian terms, it’s the reverse of “naming” – one person sees the essence, potential, of another and “names” him, and brings out that potential. Yet the true knowledge necessary to such a task can only come part and parcel with love. Without love, the knowledge will inevitably be mistaken and will not benefit the other person but warp and distort him.

Fortunately, unlike the denizens of Smallville, we do not have to rely on other people for this love/knowledge. We are blessed with a perfect Creator who knows us intimately and loves us deeply – He is the Author of our self-knowledge and destiny. Yet we cannot pass off Smallville as unmeaning. We do impact each other. Of all people, we Christians must not forget this. Lewis said it better than I ever could, so I’ll defer to him :) :
"The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbour’s glory should be laid on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn: We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously – no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption. And our charity must be a real and costly love, with deep feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinner, no mere tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbor, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ 'vere latitat' the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden."

Too many cookies...

2005-12-21T17:34:00.000-06:00

Shifting for myself while I was home alone, I made many, many cookies. The last ones were cut-out cookies... but I couldn't overcome my inertia to get around to frosting them. So I wrapped them up and set them on the counter until I could force myself into it...

Today, Mom and I finally made a couple batches of frosting and set out to decorate 49 cookies. But you can only do so many before inspiration wears out. I mean, how many ways are there to decorate Santa? After three, it gets hard to be creative. So you begin to get things like "Island Snowman" and "Biker Santa" :

Looking Forward to the Eschaton

2005-12-16T16:11:00.000-06:00

It being Christmas time and all, I was thinking... Being a GOV major isn't always easy or fun. Which I think would be rather like the CLA side of things :). Being a good ruler/policy maker is as difficult as writing the great American novel or the Christian consummation of sci-fi.

No matter what a leader’s decision - even if it's the right thing - it will have a negative effect. The Fall guarantees this. If you're in a position of power, making decisions for large groups of people, the ability to do harm increases exponentially. On top of this, as Augustine says, there is rarely enough information/intelligence to make proper decisions. We are fallen creatures and just can't know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether someone's innocent or guilty or whether he possesses weapons of mass destruction. And then there's war, dividing nations and cultures that are born of one and the same father - meant to work together, meant to complete, not destroy, each other…

In a word, ruling stinks. It has to be done - and it's best if it's done by godly men - but due to the Fall and the ill-conceived actions of those who went before us, we find ourselves facing a very troublesome situation with few – if any – good choices.

But there's hope to be found...
"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.
You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as men rejoice when dividing the plunder.
For as in the day of Midian's defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor.
Every warrior's boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire.
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this."

One day - glorious day! - the perfect Son of Man will rule a perfected people. There will be no confusion, no mistakes, no division, no suffering, no death. Every man will have his vine and fig tree and no one will make him afraid. How nice not to have to put effort into preserving civilization, but simply to enriching it!

This doesn't mean I'll be taking up poetry in the new heaven and earth. I'm inclined to believe my glorified self will not be gifted in that capacity (if my current self is any indication). :) No, Paul had something to say about judging angels and I think that's probably more my speed. Government, after all, will still be around. Decisions still have to be made and order must still be created.

…Besides, vines sound all well and good, but figs...? I'm not a big fan of figs. Maybe I'll start the Star Fruit Growing Society... :)

In this Season of Light...

2005-12-04T12:16:00.000-06:00

“We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
The only Son of God,
Eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light…”
Nicene Creed

“Then the sun is not sight, but the author of sight, who is recognized by sight. And [the sun] is he whom I call the child of the Good, whom the Good begat in his own likeness, to be in the visible world, in relation to sight and the things of sight, what the Good is in the intellectual world in relation to mind and the things of mind.

Why, you know, I said, that the eyes, when a person directs them towards objects on which the light of day is no longer shining, but the moon and stars only, see dimly, and are nearly blind; they seem to have no clearness of vision in them? But when they are directed towards objects on which the sun shines, they see clearly and there is sight in them?

And the soul is like the eye: when resting upon that on which Truth and Being shine, the soul perceives and understands and is radiant with intelligence; but when turned towards the twilight of becoming and perishing, then she has opinion only, and goes blinking about, and is first of one opinion and then of another, and seems to have no intelligence.

Now, that which imparts truth to the known and the power of knowing to the knower is what I would have you term the idea of Good, and this you will deem to be the cause of science, and of truth in so far as the latter becomes the subject of knowledge; beautiful too, as are both truth and knowledge, you will be right in esteeming this other nature as more beautiful than either; and, as in the previous instance, light and sight may be truly said to be like the sun, and yet not to be the sun, so in this other sphere, science and truth may be deemed to be like the Good, but not the Good; the Good has a place of honor yet higher.

May I ask you to consider the image in another point of view? You would say, would you not, that the sun is not only the author of visibility in all visible things, but of generation and nourishment and growth, though he himself is not generation? In like manner the Good may be said to be not only the author of knowledge to all things known, but of their being and essence, and yet the Good is not essence, but far exceeds essence in dignity and power.”
Plato

“Hail the heav’nly Prince of Peace!
Hail the Sun of Righteousness!
Light and Life to all He brings,
Risen with healing in His wings.
Mild He lays His glory by –
Born that man no more may die,
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
Hark, the herald angels sing,
‘Glory to the Newborn King!’”
Charles Wesley

Mingling Toil with Peace and Rest

2005-11-26T22:22:00.000-06:00

Well, my PBR paper needs two more pages and a bibliography… but I’m sick of it, so I’m going to ignore it for a while.

But really, it’s not as bad as all that. After all, I am actually getting to write my PBR paper, which is more than I could have hoped for before the holiday. Heh… I had actually planned to write it before Thanksgiving, so that I could just relax over break. Needless to say, that idea went “the primrose way to the everlasting bonfire” what with Hoedown and the ever-present Macbeth. I did succeed in gathering sources – which I touched for the first time to shove them into my bag to drag them home with me.

But my time at home has been quite productive and restful. I’ve filled out a bunch of paperwork, applied for a job, and researched and written three of five pages. Not to mention visited with extended family, met with a childhood friend, gone shopping, seen a movie, and relaxed in the comfort of my home.

I am thoroughly convinced that time here runs more slowly than time at school. Here, I wake up at 9, mosey into the kitchen, have a leisurely breakfast, read the paper (o luxury!), and still get a bunch of work done before lunch. So, that is to say there’s been a lot of rest thrown in with the work :). Just the comforts of home are enough to make any work happy: Mom, Dad, and the D; Indy sleeping at my feet or wanting to go for a walk; real meatloaf; watching Lost on a good TV with analysis during the commercials; hot buttered rum; the big cushy chair next to which my computer resides; not having to walk through the elements to get a meal; nice, cool nights to make my down comforter worthwhile; the peaceful non-crowdedness of a complete house with only three people and one dog living in it...

It is a most excellent thing :).

"The acoustics in here are wonderful!"

2005-11-21T10:09:00.000-06:00

[Hmm... third post in as many days. Something must be the matter... :)]

To a person, the speakers we have in chapel praise the acoustics of the place. With this inevitable remark, students turn and smile at each other knowingly – the acoustics of the place are actually horrendous, particularly for plays and concerts. But, in my opinion, any idea is worth entertaining at least once… and if every speaker makes the same comment, perhaps we ought to listen. Does Town Hall have good acoustics? No. But I do think that our speakers recognize something we don’t.

I’ve worked normal 8-5 desk jobs for the past four summers. I know what it is to work in an office. And guess what? In many offices, you can’t just flip on some music and work away (it would disturb others). And you certainly can’t wear headphones (that’s highly unprofessional). You can take a ten to fifteen minute break for a quiet time, if you so choose, but it must be quiet.

Here at school, however, we get to go to chapel and belt out praises in our low-ceilinged Town Hall – every morning. We often treat it as a burden, but to those who do not have this opportunity, it is an incomparable treasure. They don’t get to start every, single day with praise and worship. So they come up to the podium, sometimes teary-eyed, and say how nice it is to sing with us in a room with such great acoustics.

Good acoustics or no, let’s enjoy what we’ve got while we’ve got it.

An Ending

2005-11-20T01:42:00.000-06:00

Well, the play is finally over… and my work in that respect is finally at an end. No more Saturdays spent sewing. No more cutting and pinning and seaming and hemming. No more scrunching and calculating to fit as much as possible on one piece of fabric or in one hour of time. Yet I am left with various memories…

…of browsing (and rebrousing, and rerebrousing) Walmart and Hancock’s to find the perfect fabrics for the various items of clothing – O the joy of finding Macbeth’s tartan and Hecate’s greenish thing.

…of sitting in the Red Hill lab all day, listening to Pirates or Wolgemut or Phantom, drinking coffee, hearing of Em’s latest history research, and matching plaids ‘til I went cross-eyed.

…of the mild panic at not having something to lengthen the rough tunics with the weekend before the play – and the overwhelming joy of finding it at Jo Ann’s in Sterling.

…of a strange and late night spent drinking mugs of Sunkist and stuffing socks with gourds.

…of girls who liked to dance in their dresses and guys who wanted to buy their cloaks.

I think, in the end, one could call it a success :).

and there was great rejoicing

2005-11-19T00:32:00.000-06:00

In the past two days, my life has flipped upside down. But it was upside down to begin with, so the change has been a welcome one :).

First: The need for a job next semester has been lurking in the back of my mind – but has been put off due to costume work, trying to do academics around costuming, and a certain insane faith that God would bring something along. Well, bring it He has. Last night, as I was dressing hurriedly before the play started, my mom called to tell me that I’ve got an internship with the NGA! This will satisfy my internship credits for next semester and provide money (which is a very happy thought). I had meant to intern with them this fall... but due to time delays and lost transcripts, it didn’t work out, and I had to punt. But my application remained on file, and I guess someone picked it up. So, I’ll get cleared and get to start my job next semester… just when I’ll need it most. :)

Second: My family had decided to break with our tradition and go to Gatlinburg for Thanksgiving, much to my displeasure… but there wasn’t much I could do about it. Well, it seems that, due to my grandfather not feeling well, we will be staying home and following our normal routine. While the cause is not at all welcome, the result is marvelous. It means that I can sit in my dear armchair at home as I fill out applications, complete security forms, and write a paper. We will all be there (the D wouldn't have been, otherwise), and it promises to be a restful, comforting Thanksgiving. Which is just what the doctor ordered.

Funny how the things I need most always come at just the right time – not a moment too soon, but never too late, either… :)

The Dark Side of Idealism

2005-10-27T20:09:00.000-05:00

For starters, it seems I’ll have to define my terms, since people generally complain about my usage.
Pragmatism = making decisions based on expected benefit, for yourself and/or others (roughly akin to Mill’s utilitarianism)
Idealism = making decisions based on absolute principles, without regard to consequences (kind of like Kant’s categorical imperative… though I hate to foist Kant on anybody)

That said…

It seems that no one has trouble finding the problems with pragmatism. It generally has a very nasty name in Christian circles, being identified with hedonism and situational ethics. And they’re right. Those are forms of pragmatism. They are not, however, the end and be all. “Benefit” may be defined in many ways, depending on one’s worldview. And at least one of those ways is profoundly Christian. [Think Augustine and Piper and enjoying God…]

Against the so-called evil of pragmatism, we are then presented with the good of idealism. This allows for absolute duties, which are very appealing to your run-of-the-mill fundamentalist. It is black and white. It’s not like that (despicable, evil, insert-insult-here) fuzzy postmodern world out there.

But, as is the way with man, a shift from one side of the pendulum to the other does not necessarily go from wrong to right. Normally, it just shifts to a new wrong. What the current Christian culture does not understand is that there is a dark side to idealism as well.

As with pragmatism, the dark side comes in the definition of the absolutes. Just as “benefit” can be defined in many ways, so can an “absolute.” More often than not, people define absolutes more widely than they ought and condemn when it is not warranted. The Christian community is rife with little legalistic rules for this and that – drinking, dancing, pianos in church, smoking, and any number of other stigmas.

Idealism is not “tolerant” (to use a much loved word of our age), and rarely merciful. If someone crosses one of the absolutes, he is rejected. Similarly, in an idealistic war (jihad, for example), the purpose is to kill the bad people. What sort of face is this to present to a dying world that we’ve been commanded to love?

Badly defined idealism is no better than badly defined pragmatism. It is wrong. It is not how we’re supposed to live our lives. It is most certainly not holy.

Idealism, Pragmatism, and Faith

2005-10-16T11:54:00.000-05:00

What a joy to be back in a place where philosophical blog posts flow directly from mealtime conversations :)… But it was a rather involved conversation, and this is a rather long blog post (to which a second part may follow). So bear with me :).

Recently, discussions of pragmatism have abounded in my general vicinity. Maybe this is because people are just getting ‘round to learning that I happen to have a pragmatic streak. I thought I may as well publish my views on the subject once for all.

For starters, I’ll reproduce a bit of a journal entry on the subject that I wrote over the summer, edited for general consumption :):
I'm something of a pragmatist at heart and I don't like the prevailing idea in our culture that the "good guys" or, perhaps, the "best guys" are idealists. The two are equally valid sides of the same coin. Neither can exist entirely without the other, and one is not morally better than the other. Human beings, in our finite, lopsided fashion, generally prefer one side or the other: some are, like me, more pragmatic, others idealistic... just as we prefer one season over another, the sea or the mountains, or this or that characteristic of God, etc. But even the full coin of idealism and pragmatism together is not sufficient to act rightly, either. There is something more...
The Christian is called neither to idealism nor to pragmatism. We are not supposed to "logic out" the most advantageous route. We are also not supposed to live by the categorical imperatives of the Law. We are told, rather, that the righteous live by faith. Both idealism and pragmatism rely on us and our determinations in the end. Only faith leaves us watching and waiting on God every moment. (Might I suggest Romans 4:13-25 for further, and better :), reading on this subject?)
Where, then, do idealism and pragmatism fall in here? Do we nullify the Law by this faith? Not at all! Rather, we uphold the Law. And what about our self-interest? God's business in our life is making us more like Christ (and doing the same for others through us). Does that sound like it's not in our interest? To paraphrase, he who would save his idealism or pragmatism will lose it, but he who gives them up for faith will save them...

This is all very well and good philosophically, but how does it work? [Yes, I'm very fond of practicality too :).]

Let’s begin by looking at the example from Serenity. (I like it better than the classic Jew in the closet/Nazi at the door scenario, since it balances life and life, instead of life and lie.) For those you who haven’t seen the movie, it is as follows [those who have can skip to the next paragraph]: The captain and his crew have just robbed an imperial bank. Discovering that evil creatures are in the area, they tell everyone there to stay in the vault to be safe; they themselves run out to their hovercraft to get away. As they try to pull away, a man comes running out of the bank, wanting to come with them and grabbing onto the hovercraft. But the craft can’t take one more and still outrun the evil creatures. So the captain pushes the man off – and he is taken by the creatures and the crew gets away by the skin of their teeth. [There’s a mercy killing in there too… but that can be discussed some other time :).]

From an idealist’s standpoint: there is a categorical obligation to protect life; the man cannot be left to his death, you must bring him along, even if it would result in the death of all. From a pragmatist’s standpoint: the captain is responsible for the well-being of his crew most of all; you must protect them, even if it results in the death of an innocent stranger. In either situation, somebody’s going to die because of your decision, be it everybody or the stranger. So how do you decide?

At about this point in the discussion, Providence was brought up. Which is a good point. We do not live in a world of random chance. Nor do we live in a world in which the “inevitable” always happens. God can intervene (and does) – and in this case, it would have to be nothing short of a miracle.

So, then, have the idealists won? Take the risk, bring the guy aboard, and leave it to God to make sure you all get away? Not necessarily. Actually, no one has “won.” One could just as easily take the pragmatic route, and pray God’s miracle comes in saving the man you’ve just left behind. (After all, the pragmatists don’t want the man to die any more than the idealists all want to be eaten alive.)

You’re going to need faith – faith that God can make sure that everyone comes out alive on the other side and faith to decide which course of action to take. After all, the general equivalence I’ve been arguing for doesn’t necessarily mean that both choices are right in that one instance. God works in mysterious ways, and He sometimes calls us to use particularly one or the other of the two methods. There is Brother Andrew, who was called to one method of Bible smuggling. And there are the countless other Bible smugglers use a more “conventional” method. There is David facing Goliath… and then there’s Ehud facing Eglon.

Let us look to God and God alone for guidance and approval. The rest will fall into place.

Many Majors, One Body

2005-10-04T13:14:00.000-05:00

My lunch conversation brought to mind an issue that, it seems, has recently been concerning me without me consciously realizing it. [And, no, you may not construe this as an indictment of anyone who was present. We ironed out the misunderstanding; I speak only of generalities.]

Many people on campus – CLA and GOV alike – seem to hold “It is my major that is the main mission. The rest of y’all are here to support that effort.”

This is, like most wrong ideas, correct in part. Yes, the world works in such a way that, separating out one major on campus, you can trace paths of service to it from the others. Only difficulty is, that works for all of them. The public policy majors are here to support the writers… and the historians are here to support the journalists… and the SI folks are supposed to keep everyone alive in the process.

Indeed, we are a body. The foot, I’m sure, could create an argument saying that all the other parts are there to let it do its foot-ish thing. And it would be right; they are. But that’s not their only purpose. Each member, by fulfilling its function, is to support the others and, thereby, the continued life of the body. No one member (except the Head) is the end in itself.

So, who takes precedence – journalism or lit? The hand or the eye? Tactics or strategy? One without the other is useless. Neither is the be all and end all. The ultimate mission belongs to neither. Rather, it belongs to both. Only in working together can they accomplish the mission and serve the will of the Head.

The space between ourselves sometimes
Is more than the distance between the stars.
By the fragile bridge of the servant’s bow,
We take up the basin and the towel.

The call is to community –
The impoverished power that sets the soul free,
In humility, to take the vow
That, day after day, we must take up the basin and the towel.
(Michael Card, Basin and the Towel)

For those with no prospects currently on the horizon...

2005-10-01T23:43:00.000-05:00

We have recently been encouraged (by a certain someone's blog posts *ahemJonathan*) to wed early. That's great - but most of us are past that chance by now. Sure, we may want to get married sometime in the future.... But currently we're single. Very much so. Living in the future does not work, not any better than living in the past. Studying the past and planning for the future are good, but we can only live in the present. Which is, for us, singleness. To that end, I contribute to the discussion an excellent article on singleness, shamelessly ripped from Ashlea's blog :). May it be thought provoking and enjoyable.

Confessions, Selections from Book I

2005-09-26T13:35:00.000-05:00

I’m reading Augustine for a couple classes this semester – both City of God and Confessions. Right now I’m in the beginning of Confessions and it is… lovely :). Augustine’s thoughts are beautiful and his style is delicious. …Well, at least, it sounds good in Latin. It loses quite a bit in translation. Anyway, I’ve reproduced some particularly good bits below for your edification. For those who are Latin students, I’ve also put in the Latin, since Augustine’s Latin style is a delicacy not to be missed, and the translator’s can be taken or left.
Enjoy :).

Tu excitas, ut laudare te delectet, quia fecisti nos ad te et inquietum est cor nostrum, donec requiescat in te.
“You stir man to take pleasure in praising you, because you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”

Et cum effunderis super nos, non tu iaces, sed erigis nos. Nec tu dissiparis, sed colligis nos.
“When you are ‘poured out’ upon us, you are not wasted on the ground. You raise us upright. You are not scattered but reassemble us.”

Quid dicit aliquis, cum de te dicit? Et vae tacentibus de te, quoniam loquaces muti sunt.
“What has anyone achieved in words when he speaks about you? Yet woe to those who are silent about you because, though loquacious with verbosity, they have nothing to say.”

Et quam multi iam dies nostri et patrum nostrorum per hodiernum tuum transierunt, et ex illo acceperunt modos, et utcumque extiterunt?… Tu autem idemipse es, et omnia crastina atque ultra omniaque hesterna et retro hodie facies, hodie fecisti. Quid ad me, si quis non intellegat? Gaudeat et ipse dicens: quid est hoc? Gaudeat etiam sic, et amet non inveniendo invenire, potius quam inveniendo non invenire te.
“How many of our days and days of our fathers have passed through your Today, and have derived from it the measure and condition of their existence? … But you are the same; and all tomorrow and hereafter, and indeed all yesterday and further back, you will make a Today, you have made a Today. If anyone finds your simultaneity beyond his understanding, it is not for me to explain it. Let him be content to say, ‘What is this?’ So too let him rejoice and delight in finding you who are beyond discovery rather than fail to find you by supposing you to be discoverable.”

…Formosissime, qui formas omnia et lege tua ordinas omnia.
“The supreme beauty [formosus], you give distinct form [formus] to all things and by your law impose order on everything.”

Jussisti enim et sic est, ut poena sua sibi sit omnis inordinatus animus.
“For you have imposed order, and so it is that the punishment of every disordered mind is its own disorder.”

And for those of you who don’t know Latin and don’t care to learn it… Augustine’s view of studying Greek:
“The difficulty lies there: the difficulty of learning a foreign language at all. [The necessity of learning the language] sprinkles gall, as it were, over all the charm of the stories the Greeks tell.” ;)

What a morning may bring forth...

2005-09-16T12:48:00.000-05:00

Well, that chapel was a surprise. Our very own Dr. B, in such an important government position! I’m so proud of him! Course, I always knew he was the ultimate in cool. I’m just glad the current administration thinks so too. Makes me respect their judgment more. :)

But… I’m not totally happy with them. They’re taking our Dr. B away! *sniff* Mr. Warm Fuzzy himself… Dr. Clean… One of the best profs on this campus and an incomparable Dean of Academics… *sniff, sniff* His absence will be so sad. PHC won’t be the same without him. Not to mention the fact that it’ll take at least three people to even begin to “replace” him. And oh! The new dean of academics is none other than Dr. Sanders! *wail*

*collects self*

I am so glad that I had the opportunity to take Comparative and FP from him… and that our book discussion group will continue to meet. The man is truly great and I feel honored to have known him.

Bliss

2005-09-14T20:26:00.000-05:00

An evening of Plato, popcorn, and techno... one of the best experiences this world has to offer :)

Sept. 11

2005-09-12T13:27:00.000-05:00

It’s a day of remembrance. Every chapel message or church sermon given on this day begins with something like, “Let us remember what happened on Sept. 11…”

Trouble with memory is that it’s a very subjective sort of thing. The above sentence, when I hear it, means an entirely different thing than the speaker most likely intends. I have an entire vault of thoughts devoted to that date, beginning in 1983…

My parents were stationed in Germany and my mom called across the ocean to her mother in Alabama to tell her that her first grandchild has been born. Because I was born in the morning, it was Sept. 11 in Germany, but still the night of Sept. 10 in the States. My grandmother, not willing to wait, called friends and family that night, telling them that she had a granddaughter who was born “tomorrow.” Thousands of miles away, I spent the first hours of my life in a hospital built by Hitler.

Fast forward about 7 years… There are four in the family, and we live in Fairfax, VA. I had a typical little girl’s birthday party with friends from school (yes, these were my public school days), church, and the neighborhood. We ate cake that Mom had made and decorated and we played “Pin the Tail on the Unicorn.”

I have particularly fond memories of 1994. That year we went camping on Chincoteague. My brother and I rode around on our bikes, taking pictures of the wild horses. When it got too stuffy and mosquito-y in the little camper by night, we all got out to go for a nighttime stroll. I still remember the sky from that night. There were no lights or clouds for miles, and the moon was an orange sliver. Stars coated the sky and the Milky Way looked like a river of diamonds. I finally saw how counting the stars could be compared to counting the sand on the beach.

I remember one of my first birthdays in Alabama – one of the first I was able to share with extended family. I took more control of the planning than in the past and decked out the dining room in bright teal and purple. In retrospect, this was perhaps a garish combination, but I still like it :).

And then there was the one ‘round about ’99… My two best friends came over for a dinner/movies/sleepover party (which became a tradition among the three of us). Daniel’s great contribution was to be homemade vanilla ice cream… However, we all felt it tasted a bit funny and he suddenly realized he had transposed the sugar and salt. :)

My most recent memory is of 2004 – last year. I remember loading the seven of us into Ben’s faithful van and driving to Maryland… where we spent the day at the Ren Fair, played Settlers of Catan at Jonathan’s aunt and uncle’s, and went to Chevy’s Mexican restaurant for dinner… where they sang at Sarah and me and gave us dessert and big sombreros, as I contemplated some well-overdue sleep and margaritas…

I can remember Sept. 11th, alright. I can remember a lot of Sept. 11ths. After all, I’ve been marking the date all my life.

Rules and the Economics of Me

2005-09-01T16:46:00.000-05:00

It is the contention of economists that man’s greatest impulse is the innate desire to do what is best for himself. No person will willingly choose something that is to their harm – at least, their harm as they perceive it. Rather, they search for ways to increase their own good, trading things of lesser value for things of greater.

I, person that I am, follow this model – perhaps more consciously than most… which brings us to a problem.

Duty... Ick. Bleck. The concept of duty has always been distasteful to me. That I should do something simply “because I ought to” flies in the face of my desire for my own good. My first question is generally something like, “Why ought I?” If the answer is not satisfactory – does not entail my good – you can forget me doing any such thing.

The only way to make the situation worse is to say, “Do it or else.” I’m not the sort to respond well to threats of force. My freedom from coercion is something I value above most personal comforts, so I’m willing to make the trade. I am, in fact, inclined to force the trade, just to make the statement that I will not be coerced.

So, how does this rebellious, Mill-loving, Kant-hating person survive in the world? Not just survive, but even be mistaken as a “goody-two-shoes” or even “sweet?” What gives this appearance of conformance?

Well, conformance itself, actually. Not that I give up on my own principles – because they’re not principles, per se. They are inclinations belonging to all people. I just have them in spades. No, the reason I conform is not duty, it is not coercion by power or force – it’s the only thing in the world strong (or weak?) enough to move me: love.

This love comes in two varieties. The first is that of other people – particularly those in authority – for me. Since they love me, I know that they care about my good too (and, hopefully, know it better than I do). If they are sufficiently trustworthy, there is not even need of questioning why. Of course, God, as ultimate Authority and ultimate Lover, is the epitome of this, followed by my parents. By careful guidance, both have instilled in me basic norms, each carefully tied back to my good. Most of the things I do go back to this… and generally this is sufficient to keep me out of trouble.

But what happens those times that someone pulls out duty or force in a blatant sort of way… when I want to bring to bear what force I have to make them leave me alone… like when Dean Wilson spoke in chapel the other week?

There is only one thing that holds me back in such circumstances. The second type of love – mine for other people. I love Dean Wilson – and PHC – so I’ll conform for their sake. Most of all, I cannot experience the love of God and not love in return, so I obey the authority out of deference to Him.

What puzzles me is the fact that this form of motivation is often overlooked in the Christian community – or is simply turned into an aphorism. Why are most churches Kantian in their approach? It certainly is the quick and easy way. Then, why do so many people tolerate it? Any ideas?

Constantine - A Secular Look at the Spiritual Realm

2005-08-10T12:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I figure it’s been a while since my last post… I prob’ly ought to post something else, huh? But then I tried to decide what to post on… shopping for jeans is too annoying… my continuing efforts to finish the campaign in “Age of Mythology” are interesting to none but myself… my mom just finished Goblet of Fire, I think, but we’ve already discussed Harry Potter… so it occurred to me to discuss an interesting movie that I finally got around to seeing the other day: Constantine.

First off, Constantine requires a certain… “mental state” to appreciate. Jonathan, I think you’d find it interesting. Carolyn, I highly suggest that you do not watch it; if Signs was difficult, you wouldn’t like this in the least. People who are very strong Calvinists *ahemAshlea* probably wouldn’t like it for different reasons :). The rest of you fall somewhere in between – hopefully, a brief review will let you see where.

Do be forewarned. Some serious issues of the movie include: abundant scary images, visits to hell by living characters, use of occult symbols, and, on the technical side, a ludicrous and difficult to follow plot.

That warning out of the way… The movie is, basically, a secular look at the spiritual realm. It is an attempt by people who have never directly had much or any experience with things spiritual to write a story based on them. Obviously, they get a lot wrong. Amazingly, however, they do get a few things right, and it’s looking for these little nuggets in the midst of the dross that makes the movie interesting to watch.

The overall feel of the movie is, oddly enough, physical. (Course, what kind of action movie would it be if you couldn’t have scary looking demons?) The end result, though, is that you have physical demons attacking and being attacked in physical ways, with the actual spiritual realm existing only on the sidelines as something mysterious in which man does not participate. This, of course, gives the movie a very “material” and secular feel. Yet this exaltation of the material also gives the movie a sort of medieval feel. Physical things (i.e. holy water and light) and symbols (i.e. crosses and occult symbols) are important – they are more than just their material selves. They have a power within them that makes them effective. Then, of course, the medieval feel is helped along by the fact that all prayers are in Latin. (The recurring prayer, interestingly, was “Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis… in nomine Patri et Fillii et Spiritu Sanctu.”)

The main character, Constantine (Keanu Reeves), is possibly the most interesting item. He is no saint, literally. He just happens to have a “curse” that allows him to do what he does (see and fight demons) and he is bitter toward God for it. In fact, he’s bitter toward God for a great many things, many of which (as is mentioned at one point) are his own fault. But one man’s “curse” can be God’s gift, if only he could see it that way. This idea is explored from the beginning of the movie to its end and the problem of evil is touched directly at a couple points. Another of Constantine’s issues is that he has committed a mortal sin in the past and, though he is bitter toward God, he’d really rather not end up in hell. So, he decides to use his gift/curse to buy his way into heaven – at which attempt other characters constantly scoff. The conclusion of the movie is that “whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.”

God is never seen (which is just as well), but His presence is felt. Neither Gabriel (who is played by a woman… go figure) nor Constantine’s assistant get away with trying to act on their own, outside God’s power. The movie does walk a fine line near dualism, since its chief protagonist is never seen and the baddies are the main focus. It also holds that God and Satan have made some sort of “deal” whereby they can only influence and not force human decisions for good or ill. Though all this is highly suspect, it’s my opinion that, in the very end, it winds up on the right side.

So, if you have some extra time and the warning up top didn’t deter you, I would suggest watching it sometime. Just make sure you’re in an intellectually curious state of mind :).

R&R

2005-08-04T03:25:00.000-05:00

*contented sigh* This is the life… I have been enjoying my back-at-home-ness to the full.

Monday was spent trying to recover from jet lag. I had figured that on Sunday I was up for 25 hours on five hours of sleep – though I had gotten up at 0400 and got in bed at 2100. Don’t you just love traveling west :)? So, needless to say, on Monday I stayed in my pajamas all day simply because I could and relaxed, played on my computer, and recounted stories of my travels.

On Tuesday, Mom, Dad, Indy (our dog), and I went to some friends’ house and picked blueberries. These folks have been blessed with a whole hedge worth of blueberry bushes, so they invite other people to come out and enjoy the overflow. We spent about two hours in the “cool” (82 F), sticky Alabama morning, chatting with each other and various members of our host family. The end result was quite a bit of fun and about six gallons of blueberries. We made some blueberry waffles when we got home to enjoy the fruits of our labor. After breakfast, Mom and I settled in to wash the rest and go through them to toss out unripe ones and make sure none of them still had stems. It was quite an undertaking, but now we have an abundant supply of blueberries in the freezer. In the evening, Daniel got home from work and he, Mom, and I watched quite a few episodes of Lost, only to realize that we didn’t have the season finale.

By yesterday morning, we had obtained the finale and decided to watch it before the D left for work in the afternoon. We also had managed to get Dad hooked on it, and, since he has this week off, he has been making up for “lost” time (yes, that shameless pun was intended). I think he’s up to episode 13 now. So, we all discussed the merits of the show… somewhere along the way, the guys disappeared, and Mom and I were left, ready to go shopping but in the midst of a philosophical discussion. The discussion finally ended at debating how “blatant” a story’s Christian message should be, bringing to bear Narnia, Lost (in a hypothetical sense), Signs, and Les Mis. Somehow me encouraging her to read Harry Potter fit in there as well. We did finally end the conversation to get dressed and out the door for our shopping trip… which was rather tiring, but successful in the end. At my urging, we made the ground beef that had been appropriated for dinner into topping for nachos and had a very relaxed meal.

Today has no particular plans except to take it easy and, perhaps, finally unpack one of my bags. Maybe I will take the dog for a walk or some such…

The Return of the Gabi

2005-08-01T07:41:00.000-05:00

“I’ve been away, but I must say,
That home looks good to me.”

So ends the story of Captain Kitty, a favorite book of mine as a child. In the story, Captain Kitty gathers up a couple friends and sails to the South Seas, looking for adventure and all things exotic. They dine on strange food, meet friendly natives, and watch pearl divers… and then they return home. After countless readings in my early years, the last lines have become something of a family saying.

I now find myself, as many times in the past, in the place of my dear Captain Kitty. I have been far away, off on an adventure, experiencing the new and the strange… It was fun. I’ll miss walking down cobbled streets, through parks, and past the Russian Orthodox cathedral and the flower market. I’ll miss deciphering a strange language and seeing new sights and tasting new foods. I’ll even miss the acrid city smell.

But home does look good to me. There is something eminently right about it. It is somehow more real, making the previous weeks look like a hazy dream. The sound of the air conditioner running, the feel of the oriental rug, the old clock still ticking away on the wall, the dog sleeping at my feet… and, of course, all of my family here in the same place. Somehow this just seems the way things ought to be. Riga was an aberration. A fun aberration, but one nonetheless.

Good News

2005-07-27T13:51:00.000-05:00

Some would say that I just got bad news… but I don’t think that would be accurate…

You see, due to the server crash at school, this morning I was checking my Yahoo account (for all those who wish to get in touch with me this is fullfirstnamelastname@yahoo.com :)). In checking this Yahoo mail, I noted that I had an old email about my summer internship sitting in my inbox. Since I’m at the very end of said internship, I decided to read it… I opened it and found that it was the note from the Europe HR lady saying that I could not go to France and had missed the selection date for Europe entirely. I had to grin. So, here I was in Latvia reading that old email. At the time I received it, I was crushed. I’d never have even considered the possibility of Latvia. I mean, I didn’t even know more about it than that it existed. But God knew all about it and had been planning for it… had been since the beginning of the fall semester when my car was totaled… had been from the beginning of time, for that matter, I suppose :).

Hit with this inspiration, I hunted down a favorite verse (and its successor) on BibleGateway:
“There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord.” (Proverbs 21:30-31) If God wanted me to have an internship, the State Department was going to have a hard time stopping it happening. Likewise, I could put together an entire cavalry and, without God’s blessing, it would do me no good.

It is in that frame of mind that I received news this evening that I did not pass the Foreign Service Written Exam. I am… well, mostly surprised that I’m not disappointed. Do I think that I will end up being accepted anyway? Well, it could happen (all bets are off when discussing the actions of the State Department), but no, not really. That’s just not where I’m supposed to be right now. God has something better elsewhere… though only He knows what that might be. Heavens, I don’t even know what I’m going to do in this coming semester! But He does… and He’ll see me safely through it… and the next one… and post-graduation life. How do I know? Because He’s seen me through the past year and the twenty before that.

In all of this, I can’t help but marvel at Providence – even in server crashes… which cause you to check another account… read an old email… which increases your faith… so you can meet whatever challenge may come your way later… :)

More Adventures

2005-07-26T09:45:00.000-05:00

This is my last week in Riga (how hard to imagine!), so I’ve been making the most of it :). This past Saturday included a trip to Pilsrundale, a large residence out in the countryside. It was just too fun not to discuss here :).

As I walked out the front door, I felt I was heading off for an adventure. Home was behind, the world ahead – a world full strange sights and sounds and unknown peoples speaking unknown tongues. The perfect way to spend a Saturday :). I was, at least, well equipped for adventuring: cane, camera, extra battery, money, and my hand-drawn copy of the map to bus station. I also brought my magic umbrella, and, true to form, it kept it from raining the entire time.

I made it to the bus station without taking a wrong turn and bought a ticket to “Bauska.” This was not the end of my journey, but the place I was going was so far off in the country that I had to go to Bauska first and then get a bus from there to Pilsrundale. The bus, to its credit, was at least as comfortable as an airplane. The seats were back just the right amount, their headrests were at just the right spot, and they were nicely concave, so you kind of sank down in. Granted, if I thought it was comfortable, it was probably a torture worthy of one of the lower levels of Hell for most people. But I was happy :).

The Latvian countryside, incidentally, is lovely – I should have traveled through it more often. It actually reminds me of Alabama: flat, same number of fields and trees, same ratio of good to dilapidated buildings. It just does the heart good to see such things. To see the wind caress the soft heads of golden wheat… the white birches with silver leaves… the chestnut cows grazing on green grass… the sky that stretches from horizon to horizon.

After an hour and a bit, we pulled in to the Bauska “autoosta” (bus station). There I discovered that the next bus past Pilsrundale wouldn’t leave for another hour and a quarter. So I explored Bauska and found a grocery store where I purchased some things to lunch on. I carried them back and found a bit of grass and shade at the autoosta in which to eat.

Finally, the bus arrived. I rode a little farther into the Latvian countryside and found myself getting off at a little stop in (seemingly) the middle of nowhere, yet named “Pilsrundale.” A group of young people who got off with me headed down the road, presumably knowing where they were going. But there are easier ways of finding what you want. There was a little café and 7-11 equivalent nearby and I walked in and asked directions. The lady pointed to a path just outside. I followed it and found that I had been given a short cut. I arrived ahead of the group. I was very gratified.

It seems that, unless you’re with a group, the trip through the house is self-guided. Which was just as well, in my opinion. Along with my entrance, I purchased the right to take pictures inside the house – and this was well worth it. It was gorgeous. I’d love to live in a place like that, really. I know gilding and mirrors and ballroom sized halls are turn offs to some people. I’ve never understood those people. Rich and ornate are good in my book, and I got my fill of it then. I basked in the glory that is big rooms, painted ceilings, crystal chandeliers, beautifully patterned wooden floors, and rich color. But words simply can’t do it justice… ... and Blogger's image uploader is giving me a hard time... so, I've succumbed to a slightly less aesthetically pleasing and efficient way of getting them up here. You'll have to scroll down :).

Just as enjoyable as the house were the grounds. It was threatening rain, with steely, swirly clouds overhead – and that helped. It particularly made for lovely photos. I wandered among the gardens and probed the secrets of the high hedges. I took copious pictures. To walk, to smell grass, to breathe the clean, rain-ish air, to imagine what fun must’ve taken place there – ah, it was heaven.

When Ashlea, Sarah, and I take over the world, I’m living at Pilsrundale. At least for the summer :).

"Detail"

2005-07-26T09:39:00.000-05:00

Here's a gilt wall detail from the main receiving room. The picture doesn't show its size - it's a good four to five feet tall.

The Ballroom

2005-07-26T09:37:00.000-05:00

Imagine having the Liberty Ball in here!

My Kind of Decor

2005-07-26T09:35:00.000-05:00

Ah... the furniture... the floors... I could definitely bring myself to live here. :)

Pilsrundale from the Back

2005-07-26T09:33:00.000-05:00

The house itself, in all its splendor.

Gardener's House

2005-07-26T09:31:00.000-05:00

The building is the "gardener's house," as seen from one of many hedged lanes through the "back yard."

Gorgeous Roses

2005-07-26T09:29:00.000-05:00

The Latvians do love their roses... The one thing this picture doesn't capture is their positively wonderful smell. :)

The Daily Grind

2005-07-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

It occurs to me that y’all have heard about all my “extra curricular” activities and not really about my day-to-day existence at work. There is a reason for this. Work is... well, work. It's mundane. There are many more interesting things to talk about. Nevertheless, I suppose I ought to include it to provide the full flavor of the experience… at least for Josh’s sake, since he, lucky boy, will be in the same boat soon enough :). So, in that spirit, here is a normal weekday:

0830-0845: Arrive at work and check email
0900-0930: Listen in on ambassador’s “press briefing” (what’s going on in the local media)
0930-1000: Coffee in the cafeteria, if lucky, with Alvis and Iveta (Latvians colleagues)
1000-1200: Hopefully there will be some sort of meeting or my boss will hand me something to work on; if not, go back to the office and read emailed news articles… maybe check home email…
1200-1300: Take a nice, leisurely lunch
1300-1700: This is the worst stretch, because it’s the longest… Hopefully, again, my boss will have something for me to do. If not… check cables in the frostily air conditioned room, check email, send email, type up personal philosophizing and email to self, draw something if I’m really hard up – all to the tune of “Star FM” on Dainis’s radio or the recorded sound of running water coming from a supremely annoying advertisement across the street.

(Granted, some of my days at work have been really exciting/interesting: going to conferences and speeches, traveling somewhere as part of the ambassador’s entourage, and meeting Latvian officials. But, then, that’s interesting ‘cause it doesn’t happen everyday :).)

Fortunately, since the sun stays up ‘til about 2200, I still have about five hours of free time left when I come home – which is devoted to “extra curriculars,” dinner, etc… the fun stuff. In fact, now is part of that free time… and I must leave to meet my boss’s wife for shopping and dinner… so, toodles for now :).

Half-Blood Prince

2005-07-18T09:15:00.000-05:00

After reading about a hundred pages of my new book on Sat., I proceeded to simply finish it off over 13 hours on a long, cold, rainy Sun. (I had to get up early to take Daniel to the airport – this added extra reading time. :)) Such practice is, I grant, rather uncharacteristic. I am the sort of person who takes a rather long time to read a book and I therefore don’t normally have time to read a whole one in one sitting (not since about 7th grade, that is :)).

I savored each word, yet couldn’t keep from scarfing up paragraph after paragraph… so I finished the whole thing… I think, maybe, this is what a boa constrictor feels like after eating a whole deer or some such. Anyway, I now feel like talking about it – but I’ll try to keep it to general/cryptic terms for those of you who haven’t finished yet.

At the most basic: I think Em’s theory about the odd-numbered books being best is probably right. This one, while good, wasn’t up to par with, say, books 3 and 5. But it was obviously not awful, either, since I spent all day reading it :).

The cons:
It lacks, in many places, some of the rich detail (without long descriptions) that the other books possess.
It gets stuck in a little bit too much character interaction and not enough action and movement. Yet one facet of interaction conspicuously missing is that between the students and the adults/professors (which I had always liked). Most of the scenes focus solely on the trio and their satellites. Because of this phenomenon, the plot seems “looser” than the others.
And then there’s the ending/climax… I had best keep my commentary to the fact that I saw it coming, but hoped it would be effected in a more favorable manner, since they are my favorite characters. (Yeesh, how’s that for vague?)

The pros:
Harry is not angsty and annoying anymore! He’s actually matured! *and there was much rejoicing* Seriously, this is enough to outweigh much of the cons.
Some of the chapters were real gems. Numbers 22 and 23 set me off philosophizing, which is, for me, the sign of a good novel :).

Random comments:
They need to teach Latin at Hogwarts. That would have prevented a certain… “mistake.”
When I see/hear my name, I assume that I’m the one being referred to, since not many people in the English-speaking world bear it. I am continually weirded out, therefore, when I see it in print and applied to even a minor character.

This concludes my general opinion :). Those of you who are going to read it, please, please, please, finish it soon so we can get on to the more interesting details :).

gloating

2005-07-16T12:12:00.000-05:00

In our travels today, my brother and I passed the local bookstore a couple times and it occurred to me... Harry Potter #6 just came out... It was at least worth checking on. Sure enough, when I asked for it, the lady at the desk smiled and said they certainly did have it in stock and ran off to go fetch a copy. So, without standing in long lines or waiting up 'til midnight, I'm now the proud owner of a copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (British edition, what's more :)). I was in the process of reading Huxley's Island, but it didn't stand a chance when brought face to face with this new arrival :).

My Visitor

2005-07-15T13:47:00.000-05:00

Who am I to disregard Carolyn and Nathan? :) ‘Tis, in fact, my pleasure to comply with their requests and provide a brief update on my existence…

Daniel – my brother, my partner in crime, “The D” (vocative is simply “D”) – arrived, finally, on Saturday last after spending some extra time in the Milan airport. Since then, we have wandered about town, eaten at some lovely restaurants, gone shopping, and gone to the beach. I managed to get Monday off (it’s not very hard, since they’re not paying me :)), so we had two and a half days to bum around before I had to head to work.

On Sunday he got the “Old Town from Gabi’s perspective” tour. Monday was a trip to Jurmala to see the town and relax on the beach – which for him was sunbathing listening to his MP3 player and for me was wading to stay cool and remaining as covered as possible as I finished Gaudy Night. I also finagled Wednesday afternoon off, and we walked around and went clothes shopping, mostly for fun, partly for an elusive outfit he wanted; we did accomplish the purchase of a pair of European-looking black leather shoes.

We’ve managed to eat at some fairly fun places – some old favorites of mine, others that were new to both of us. …The French bakery, where I fed the sparrows some of my pastry… the Iguana, next to my apartment, where we could get some fairly decent Mexican edibles… “Steiku Haoss,” which was sort of a Latvian take on the wild west (with really excellent steaks)… the Skyline Bar, on the 26th floor of the Hotel Latvia (taller than anything else in the area, so it has an excellent view of, no duh, the skyline :))…

We often watch movies in the evening – mostly in the apartment, but we managed to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith in the theater (and enjoyed it). Yesterday evening we watched the Bourne Identity over Ramen, ice cream, and pieces of a cake-sized napoleon in lieu of a birthday cake (since his birthday is on the 19th).

This evening we went to an organ/soprano concert in the Dom Church downtown. The D liked the lady's voice and survived the rest by observing what sorts of watches our neighbors were wearing. My highlight of the evening, on the other hand, was hearing the organist play "Adagio in G minor" by Albinoni - it was full, rich, moving. The notes spoke of something... terrible, in the fullest sense of the word. And the dramatic ending! Every molecule of air in the old cathedral quivered. As the last note died out, many wide-eyed smiles of appreciation could be seen in the audience.

So, we have kept busy but haven’t been hurried; we’ve taken it easy. Tomorrow is going to be something of a catch-all day for the other things we haven't gotten around to. Possibilities are to go to the zoo, get to the top of St. Peter’s, maybe return to Jurmala, and see the Fantastic Four in the theater… So, I'll see you 'round :).

Dinner at Suns

2005-07-07T12:31:00.000-05:00

I would normally fix supper for myself and eat in on a week day, but I didn’t feel like it… so I found myself at Suns, a little “Latvian take on American food” restaurant in the shopping center in which I live. I ordered the nachos grande and an iced tea and sat back to contemplate. I contemplated the fact that my brother missed his connection and is stuck in Milan until Saturday. (At least it is the sort of situation that will be enjoyable in retrospect. :)) *shrugs* It really shouldn’t change plans much. I’ll just take my time off on Monday and Tuesday instead. I simply hope he finds something to entertain himself with in the day and a half he’ll spend there.

Coming to the end of that train of thought, I scanned the news playing at the bar to get an update on the bombings in London, a story which first broke here about the time I went down to the cafeteria to acquire some lunch. At least it looks like the death toll will remain relatively low… particularly compared to what it could have been. (Ever marveled at that phenomenon? How we said, when the WTC collapsed, that there should have been about 10,000 people working there, but less than 3,000 were killed? How these attacks at morning rush hour could have killed as many but the current death toll is only 33?)

Having gotten the update I desired, my thoughts turned to the current discussion between Carolyn, Ben, and Jonathan about conformity and individualism. I almost considered joining with a post on my views on/issues with “authority,” but decided on second thought that I didn’t feel the need to wade into that mess, particularly when I have the feeling I may be the lone defender of my controversial views :). Though I have no way of knowing for sure, because I don’t think that many of you know what those views are… though Josh, Em, and Nathan (in particular) have had the pleasure of suffering through them ;). Anyway, it’s a thing best left for dinner back on campus…

My attention then turned to the large-ish gathering of people gathered in the courtyard outside the restaurant. From what I could tell, they were all there for the unveiling of a fountain. The people were all dressed on the casual side of dressy and were sipping wine and eating fancy little hors d’oeuvres, with Handel’s water music playing in the background. The fountain, on the other hand, was a rather whimsical and ungainly-looking piece of metalwork and I think it had been “veiled” in wrapping paper. It seemed rather out of place at its own party.

By then I’d almost finished my meal and began to contemplate the food itself. It’s definitely not American. The chips weren’t the homemade kind you can get back home – just the bagged kind of the rather cheap variety. And instead of the normal pieces of chicken or beef, they had bean and ground beef chili… really weird chili that was both sweet and spicy. Not much cheese… or tomatoes… but there was plenty of lettuce and sour cream. The iced tea was garnished and very liberally flavored with orange, not lemon. Having eaten all the chips (and still left with a mound of toppings), I downed the orange slice garnish – along with a couple pieces of the ice, just to remind myself that it was an “American” restaurant :).

I wasn’t hungry then, but figured I might like some dessert later, so I walked a block and bit to get some of my favorite ice cream from a street vendor. There was one left. I was very gratified as I walked back to my apartment and placed it in the freezer.

PS to the Last

2005-07-06T11:31:00.000-05:00

This summer, I think I have determined that, should I do this Foreign Service thing for a living, I will bring some warm-blooded, animate being along with me. (The top two on the list right now are “husband” and “dog.” The former would be preferable, I think, because you can take husbands more places, you wouldn’t have to quarantine them, and they are capable of engaging in conversation. But I cannot go about proposing to men, so a plan B was created, which depends entirely on my own initiative. Hence, “dog.” Yet this is rather a digression…)

All of this was begun to say that I am being visited, starting tomorrow, by a most excellent “warm-blooded, animate” being: Daniel (my brother). He will be making his belated senior trip to Riga, where the two of us will turn the town upside down with our adventures :)… at least for a three and a half day weekend, after which time I will have to go to back work and leave him to get into mischief by himself… which I am fully sure he will be able to do :). I am a very happy person :).

Pensees

2005-07-06T11:10:00.000-05:00

I was in Jurmala, the seaside resort town, again the other day for a conference. I arrived very early (I don’t want to know how fast the driver was going) and had time to stroll around outside, enjoying the beach-y morning. There is a forest that comes right up to the beach, and as I walked through it, I breathed in gulps of clean, piney air. My footsteps on the path were the only sound. And it occurred to me… I really do love the country, the more rural areas of the world. But would I want to give up life in Riga for it? And this got me thinking…

Sometimes I have a hard time deciding what to do (believe it or not :)). Generally this is because I'm happy with so many things it becomes hard to make a choice.

For instance, I like the city and the country. I like the country's quiet, it's clean air, and its natural beauty. I like the city's bustle, the fact that everything is near to hand, and that all I have to do is walk out my door and let the sidewalk carry me around the corner to some adventure. I like most any climate as well, since I don't really hate any of the seasons. I like rolling grassy hills, the desert, mountains (be they Appalachians or Alps), and the sea.

I suppose that all this is a good reason to join the Foreign Service – you know, move around, see the world – all that jazz. Because I like all these things (and they're not all found in one place), I don't know that I could permanently live anywhere – at least, not without significant time spent traveling. I can be happy everywhere, but fully satisfied nowhere. (Granted, Northern Virginia contains most of the things I love: you have rural country and DC, you have all four seasons, you have hills, mountains, and ocean. It's the best place I've found so far.)

I suppose this is probably a trait I have learned through multiple moves and much travel. I've pretty much come to believe that there is no place on earth that is a whole lot better than any other (with, perhaps, the exception of the aforementioned section of VA). "Home" has never been linked to a geographical location and the things that come with it. So I can feel at home anywhere... kinda... “Home" has always been linked to family and friends – community. These are the only ties that could bind me to a certain spots on the globe for a long time. It is they that make living anywhere worthwhile; without them, life in the most wonderful paradise would be dull, at best. Yet the difficulty about moving around a lot is that community is hard to achieve...

So which do I choose? Do I make a "home" for myself? Or do I indulge my wanderlust and travel the globe? Are the two really mutually exclusive or can I, as my immediate family has done, have both - a sort of "nomadic home?" That would be ideal...

*sigh* Decisions, decisions...

Liberty!

2005-07-03T13:15:00.000-05:00

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.”

“Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!”

“I'm proud to be an American,
Where at least I know I'm free.
And I won't forget the men who died
Who gave that right to me.
And I'll gladly stand up next to you
And defend her still today,
‘Cause there ain't no doubt
I love this land –
God bless the USA!”

Wishing you all an excellent Fourth!

An Adventuresome Saturday

2005-07-02T14:33:00.000-05:00

I actually just had an unexpected adventure trying to post this... I came up to the loft of my apartment to work on my computer, and flipped the switch to turn on the light. It gave a flash and a loud pop, surprised me thoroughly, and did not come on. I put getting a new bulb from the housing lady on the mental list of things to do. So I came to my computer… but it said that the network cable was unplugged – which was patently false. I was about to yell at poor Vlad when I noticed that he was running on battery power… I went to another light switch and tried it. Went to the hallway, the bathroom… None of it was working. I had succeeded in blowing the circuit breaker. Yippee.

I grabbed my flashlight (I knew I brought it for a reason :)) and went to the fuse box. It was all in Latvian. Not my day, I guess. So, I went back to the loft and looked up the words for “light” and “electricity” in my Russian dictionary to relay my problem to the fellow downstairs. I walked up to the door of the little office and sort of stared for a moment, trying to decide where to start explaining. I must have looked very odd and quite confused. I finally got out a “the electricity isn’t working,” which he kindly responded to by coming up with me to take a look at it. I think there was a point at which he asked me when I noticed it – I then attempted to explain the light… and realized I didn’t know the word one uses for “blew” in Russian. So I just made the noise accompanied with a hand gesture. That seemed to get the point across. He figured out the fuses, fixed it with no problem, and showed me how to fix it in the future. Now everything (but the blown light, of course) works again. So... here I am :).

My day, like most Saturdays, started late, when I got up at about 9:45 and then lazed around in my PJs… checked email and blogs, made myself a cup of chai, surfed the web. I then sorted through my shrinking collection of clean clothes, found a white T-shirt (to my great joy) and got ready to set out on a day of shopping. :)

There were only two items on the list: a “fuzzy Russian hat” for myself and a birthday present for Daniel, my brother. As to the latter, we will have to simply leave it at "I acquired one," since publishing the details now would be more than a little counterproductive :). The story of the hat, however, may be told...

Across from my first apartment there was/is a little hat shop - which is marvellously convenient, since ushankas (that's "fuzzy Russian hats") are not to be found in just any store, even here in Latvia. (Maybe particularly here in Latvia, considering the cultural feelings. Anyway...) So, I walked into the shop… and paused. I found that it is a hat and fur shop. This is, of course, a wonderful place to find an ushanka… but it’s also bound to be very expensive. And it looked like the furs must be mostly hand made, because that is what the two women there were doing when I walked in. But I figured it was worth a try. I asked them if they had any ushankas. I was, upon that, deluged with hats. First a grey rabbit… then a brown mink… then a black leather and fox… and there was a brown leather and something or other waiting in the wings. But the grey rabbit had won my heart with its color and softness and very good price. So I bought it. I was much gratified by the fact that I paid much less for it than I would have in the States - which is one of those joys of shopping that those who have not been initiated into the practice would never understand :). My new ushanka sits happily in my room, waiting to be transported back for what I now hope will be a very cold winter in VA :).

Of course, you can't go far in Riga without running up against something interesting... In my travels I stopped to watch a school dance competition. They were doing some neat folk dances -with some recognizeable contra moves included - and were in traditional costume. [I wish you could have been there, Em, you'd've liked it.] Later in the day, as I was walking in Old Town, I saw (I kid you not) a Lincoln Navigator limo decked in pink bows and frills. Never a dull moment :).

The Merits of B5, IMNSHO

2005-06-29T13:45:00.000-05:00

Eating alone is rather dull – or introspectively contemplative, which is at least as bad. Solitary philosophizing is alright in just about any other context, but it just doesn’t sit well with dinner… I have, therefore, taken to watching TV as I eat my supper, either actually on my TV or TV shows I have saved to my computer. At first, it was almost continually B5, until I realized that if I kept watching at that rate, I’d be finished with it before the summer was half over. So I began “rationing” episodes… but I started too late, I think. I just finished episode 20 (The Long, Twilight Struggle). I don’t think 21 and 22 are going to last to the end of July… :) [Many apologies to Carolyn… if you’ve not made it that far, you may not want to read the rest of this post, though I don’t think it really gives anything away – and I would like to hear your opinion sometime.]

Yet this was the first time I’d watched an episode in about two weeks – and not at all due to my rationing program. The show had changed from the original flavor I had enjoyed and the new one was simply not to my taste. Granted, it’s finally moving full-swing into the plot and we’re just at the point where everyone (separately) has decided that there is a problem, a big problem, and we might not survive it. That is to say, the conflict has been introduced. Yet I have found, as the plot moves along, there is little to commend each episode as an episode. Yes, it furthers the plot. But it is now more like a chapter in a book and does not stand on its own – does not have it’s own rise and fall, does not (particularly in these last episodes) have its own pleasant note. The tone is dreary and sloggy and this has made it easier to watch it less often.

But that’s not, by far, the only reason. There was something about the first season that, while fantastic, was still fairly “real to life” as it goes from day to day. The characters and their actions were three-dimensional, there were real friendships, a touch of humor was generally included, and even the diplomatic negotiations were realistic, if rather condensed…. Yet now it has become… well… I guess you’d call it “epic.” And I’ve decided that “epic” isn’t my favorite thing. It’s more idealistic – it’s all black and white, with little grey left and the “right thing to do” always follows some Kantian categorical imperative. Except, that is, for the one against lying, since almost everybody is keeping back important information they ought to share. This negates the former likeability of the characters and the possibility of good friendships. To mitigate this, we have, for example Delenn’s revelation of information she should have published a long time beforehand to persuade Sheridan to do a thing he should have done about 15 minutes into the episode. And now these two, Sheridan and Delenn, the two most idealistic characters, are quickly becoming the center of attention – the (very sickeningly sweet) “dream team” in charge of saving life, the universe, and everything. It’s enough to make one take a sabbatical.

So that’s precisely what I did. In the meantime I enjoyed other TV greats like Lost and Stargate (SG-1 – I just don’t like the characters on Atlantis), but particularly the latter. [Incidentally, anybody know where I can get a hold of the last four or so episodes of this first season of Lost?] SG-1 was a nice antidote to my B5 blues. It is episodic (in that each episode has its own climax and denouement) but there’s also an overarching storyline (complete with subplots) that is advanced through each one. The good guys normally win in the end, though not always, keeping it from being too predictable. Yes, there are definite “good guys” and “bad guys” – and folks in between. There is a Cause to fight for, but, fortunately, each person does so in a different way. The four main characters vary from the idealistic “Let’s have peace with everyone and failing that save everyone’s life!” to the “That’s not practical. It is expedient for the Cause that they/you/I should die.” (The authors, many blessings on their heads, favor neither view.) Among these four characters, the absolute importance of friendship and love is a strong theme. In short, it’s a very satisfying sort of program to watch.

Well, that’s rather more than I first intended to write, but I think it’s right for getting the point across :). I doubt I’ve made it through this without ruffling some feathers somewhere… though I can’t really say I’m sorry for it. Whether ruffled or not, I’d love to hear your opinion :).

Oh, and [never fear, Carolyn] this doesn’t mean I’m not going to continue to watch B5. I didn’t start watching the thing for its artistic merits… so that is sure not going to stop me :).

Variations on a Theme

2005-06-29T09:51:00.000-05:00

Well... I had some time on my hands. Lots of very quiet time. And I've found that the best thing to do with such time is to make fractals. Fractals, you see, involve some degree of creativity but also a decent amount mindless scutwork (all of which leaves you half-free to pay attention to the outside world), they take lots of time to make (particularly when you're using the Windows calculator and Paint's pixel counter to make sure it's precise... :)), and the result can be quite attractive.

So I made my fractal. But the other thing about fractals is that, though lovely on their artistically mathematical own, they really need some sort of color or something to give them life. Preferably a lot of really nice color. And this is where I got carried away with my fractal. I did one color scheme... and then another... and another... and it just kept going.

The finished products turned out even better than I, their affectionate creator, had expected... so I reproduce them here for your own pleasure :).

Having beaten the current fractal mostly to death, I have started work on yet another... :)

PS The originals are 1280x1024 (I figure if you're going to make something in Paint, you might as well make it useful as a desktop jobbie)... but, unfortunately, even the "having been clicked on" version that Blogger loaded is smaller. Sorry 'bout that.

Good grief...

2005-06-26T10:45:00.000-05:00

Anybody who can fit Jonathan, Nathan, and me into one theological box deserves some kudos :). That said:

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

82%

Neo orthodox

71%

Fundamentalist

71%

Emergent/Postmodern

57%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

57%

Classical Liberal

36%

Roman Catholic

36%

Reformed Evangelical

29%

Modern Liberal

21%

What's your theological worldview?

I must say, I'd assumed I'd turn up more charismatic than I did... and I receive amusement from the fact that I'm more Roman Catholic than Reformed :).

"Demographics"

2005-06-25T03:06:00.000-05:00

Having explained the foreign policy situation here, I thought I might continue with the more mundane country facts. Today’s lesson is in demographics.

For starters, actual demographics: the country is, technically, ethnically diverse. There are descendants of Letts, Livs, and Ests (the Baltic people groups) as well as Slavs (Russians), Germans, and other European nationalities. The reason I say “technically” diverse is this: all these people look alike. They are all of a fairly normal height, have very light skin and blonde or dark hair (there’s really no red to speak of – I’ve seen maybe five redheads – not counting the obviously dyed sorts that are burgundy, orange, or pink). There are no blacks or Hispanics and very few people of oriental extraction. I realized just how weird it all was when I was shocked to see my first black Rigan a couple weeks after my arrival. I can count on one hand the number of black people I’ve seen since then. Such differences are not lost on the Rigans, either, though they don’t seem to know how to handle them. The police and justice system are still trying to find their way and have not yet come to the conclusion that following after and insulting someone should probably be a punishable offense. Which makes me glad I fit in as much as I do. (…and when I’m wearing baggy jeans and a Hard Rock Café shirt, as now, that’s “not very much.” :))

But there are other sorts of demographics (all comments from the Greek student peanut gallery aside) :). Take, for instance, the sorts of cars on the road. Surprise, surprise, the tendency around here is toward European companies. German cars are quite popular: BMW, Volkswagen, Mercedes, and Audi make up at least two thirds of the cars on the road. There are also Saabs and the occasional Porsche (joy of joys :)). There are some non-European brands represented, like Ford (that’s the only American brand I’ve seen – barring the embassy Suburbans), Toyota (but not Lexus), Mazda, Honda, and Hyundai. But the really fun ones are the brands that few people in America have ever seen – or even heard of: Citroen, Peugeot, Renault, Opel, and Skoda. … Maybe Dad and Daniel have indoctrinated me too well… but I actually really enjoy observing cars :).

Another demographic study is the sort of songs you hear on the radio. It seems the favorite station is “Star FM” (which is, incidentally, its actual name… why it’s in English, I don’t know). The station’s a really odd mix. Almost all the songs are American, but the in-between commentary is in Latvian and I think I’ve heard some Russian commercials. Also, I can’t seem to figure out what kind of station Star FM is. It’s got a funky mix of old and new, pop and rock going on. Over a couple days at work, I actually kept a running tally of what I heard:
Mambo No. 5 (in the States, too old for “modern,” too new for “oldies”… and that’s just fine with me :))
Kokomo (way before my time)
Land of Confusion (almost before my time – but not quite; it’s an 80s pop song I’m partial to)
Macarena
“Bon Voyage” (I think it’s Latvian; very catchy)
Our House (the 80s “in the middle of our street” one)
Cradle (by “Atomic Kitten” – if I hear this one more time, I’ll puke)
Get the Party Started
Walking on Broken Glass (more 80s – love the tune to this one)
Some Guys Have All the Luck
Say Tonight (late 90s, I think – I kinda like it)
Life for Rent – and White Flag too, for that matter (yay for Dido! :))
Boulevard of Broken Dreams (new song? it’s not exactly happy… nor is the band one I’d suggest… but I rather like the song, for whatever the reason)
La Bamba (the Spanish classic)
I Just Called to Say I Love You
Welcome to My Life
California (“…here we come”)
It Must’ve Been Love (“…but it’s over now”)
Incomplete (I learned the other day that this one’s by the Backstreet Boys… not too shabby)
Wrap My Words around You (never heard it before coming here… I rather like it)
Yellow (by Coldplay)
I have yet to find a unifying factor in all this music. One thing I am quite happy about, though, is that these folks have the good sense to toss in some 80s from time to time :).

There are also bird demographics – I like bird watching kinda like I like car watching, so changes from the norm are interesting. In this respect, though, Latvia is mostly like the US. There are pigeons (grey, black, white, brown, and various combinations of the above), house sparrows, and gulls. On the odd side: There are little birds that look like a cross between a house sparrow and a black-capped chickadee; they’re cute. The niftiest are these crow-like things (I think they’re called “Hooded Crows”), but they’re bigger than our crows by rather a lot. They’re only black on their heads, necks, wings, and tails – the rest of them is slate grey. It’s kinda classy looking. I think it’d be fun to have one.

I think that reaches the end of all the “demographic” tallies I have made to this point. Hope it gives you a clearer picture of that fun thing known as “life in Riga” :).

Ligo!

2005-06-22T09:59:00.000-05:00

The above is, sadly, an untranslatable. It can be a noun, verb, or interjection, depending on the context/speaker. As a noun, it is the name of a holiday. As an interjection, it is like “Cheers!” As a verb, the best one-word translation into English would be "to rusticate" - but "ligo" is celebratory, in common use, and graceful, none of which "rusticate" is.

So, we must look for more than one word. In one phrase, it could mean something like "Celebrate Jani." But this doesn't make any sense to your average American (even less than "rusticate").

So, to grab all the connotations, take the following description. "Ligo" is: "celebrating the summer solstice (the longest, warmest day in a place accustomed to long, dark, cold winters), by going out to the countryside, picnicking, picking flowers, eating rye bread and caraway cheese, drinking beer, building bonfires, staying up all night (about three hours), singing, and dancing."

This is, in my mind, a most excellent thing :). If nothing else, we got to have a party at work and we have the next two days off – adding up to a lovely four day weekend. Flowers, singing, and fairs are everywhere. The Ligo/Jani holidays are a very good time to be in Riga – but even if you’re not, any excuse for such a celebration is quite worthwhile :).

So... *raises glass* Live it up – and “Ligo!” :)

Master of the Obvious

2005-06-22T09:40:00.000-05:00

“Days that begin with God are better than days that do not.”

Some will recognize this as the current subtitle for Nathan’s blog. Some will also be thinking, “No stinking duh.” Yes, the statement is an obvious truth. The only difficulty with obvious things is that we rarely pay attention to them… This, I am sorry to say, was my own personal situation a week or so ago.

I had arrived in Latvia and mostly settled into my new situation. Nevertheless, when I was quiet – when I was alone in my apartment doing nothing in particular or before I went to sleep or when I was bored at work – there was a nagging feeling that something was just not right. Peace and joy were not mine in their accustomed quantities. At first, I chalked it up to my new situation… then to uncontrolled emotions… but the unnamable dissatisfaction simply wouldn’t go away. In fact, it grew more irksome. So I ignored it as best I could. But God (how many episodes in my life begin with those two words?)… He is a hard Person to ignore – He doesn’t like it. Having allowed me to flounder about on my own long enough for the lesson to sink in, He showed me what I was looking for…

About the time that I moved to the hotel, I finished up Starship Troopers and picked up the next book in the queue, a book I’d tossed in at the last moment because I’d always meant to read it and never gotten ‘round to it: Wild at Heart, by John Eldrege. Yes, it’s written mostly for men, but like most true things, it has general applicability. For those of you who haven’t read it, it’s got this exhortation/devotional tone going on – good stuff, highly recommended by me :). As I began to read it every night before I went to bed, I at first simply enjoyed it. It was the evening that I flipped off the TV so that I could read a couple extra chapters that it dawned on me, “This is helping to assuage that ache. That’s why you’re enjoying it so much.” Aha! I was pleased and felt myself nearer the solution of my own personal mystery. It next occurred to me that the answer had, the whole time, been in very plain sight (which was rather peevesome). “Days that begin with God are better than days that do not.” My days had not begun with God, nor had they really included Him in a significant way in the middle or at the end. Generally, my life has a schedule attached (be it for work or school) and somewhere in that schedule is time devoted to meditation on/worship of/communion with God, through His Word. But here, for whatever the reason, that very important point had been overlooked.

So, I decided to run an experiment. I would read whatever book was next on the list in the evening, as normal (I’m now in the beginning of Williams’s Descent into Hell). After that, I would read some passage or another of Scripture before going to bed. Also, I set my Outlook calendar at work to alert me at 10 o’clock each day (I’ve always liked that time for chapel at school) so that I could just sit back, take a deep breath, and re-align my thoughts. Life is often quiet around that time of the morning, so no one minds if I help myself to a psalm or a chapter of an epistle from Bible Gateway also.

The results of said experiment were, of course, far from surprising. I had peace and joy; I was content and grounded; wisdom and strength were there for the taking. I was, in short, very conscious of the presence of God…. And I still am – all because He drew my attention to that very obvious yet ignored truth. My only hope is that don’t forget it any time soon :).

“I have set the Lord always before me.
Because He is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.”
Psalm 16:8

Foreign Policy Lesson, or How B5 Applies to Latvia

2005-06-17T09:40:00.000-05:00

It has occurred to me that my fellow foreign policy students heard all about the issues facing Latvia… but none of you really have. Then, as I was walking to work a couple mornings ago, I had an epiphany. For those of you who like B5 or are at least basically familiar with it (which is most of you), I think I have a decent analogy to describe the situation here: If this were the B5 world, Latvians would be the Narn and Russians would be the Centauri.

You see, until 1991, Latvia was under Soviet control. There are continuing debates between the two as to whether Latvia was justly “incorporated” into the USSR of their own free will or “occupied” by unwelcome Soviet troops. On gaining its independence, Latvia was very nationalistic and rather hostile toward the Russian speaking 30-40% of its population. Russia, on the other hand, is smarting from a loss of power in the region and does what it can to assure Latvia that it is still bigger and badder. Suffice it to say, there is no love lost between the two countries. When either gets a chance to stick it to the other, they take it.

Fortunately, they are not going to go to war anytime soon, no matter how much they like to snarl at each other across the border (a border which itself is a subject of much dispute). Also fortunately, the Latvians are not spotted and the Russian ambassador does not wear his hair in some elaborate fan shape :). The US, however, does have to do a delicate dance between two countries who thoroughly dislike each other yet with both of which we’d like to remain on good terms.

This concludes your foreign policy lesson for the day :).

Very Random Thoughts

2005-06-16T11:16:00.000-05:00

You know you’ve been in Riga too long when you look at the weather for the day and, on seeing that the projected temp is 23 C (that’s 74 F), your reaction is "Oh, drat. It's going to be hot."

*****

The government in all its bureaucracy is... well... unfathomable sometimes. You know, it does the stupidest things? The current case in point is my little standard-issue, three month calendar - the sort that shows three two-sided month papers hung on a cardboard back (which, "with proper care... can be used indefinitely," as it itself tells me). *rolls eyes* Anyway, it came to my attention that, lacking a pretty picture like most calendars have, each month has an inane little saying at the bottom. If you weren't looking, you'd miss it. But I have plenty of time to do things like study my ugly government calendar. The sayings currently displayed are:

July: Give full consideration to all. (How... high-minded... for a calendar...)
June: Look at upward mobility. (In case you're considering leaving your current stimulating job...)
And my personal fave, May: Are reasonable accommodations available? (I do not even want to think of what prompted that one...)

Ya gotta wonder...

*****

I’m currently considering writing an inspirational song entitled, “Ramen in Any Language,” as a tribute to my cheap dinner.

*****

Most people around here speak English and if they find out that you speak English, they’ll insist on using it. Sometimes I humor them. Despite their general skill with the language, there is one almost universal and very funny mistake. By way of explanation: Their word for “please” is “ludzu.” But this word does extra duty. It’s also “you’re welcome,” “here you go,” “go ahead,” a polite way to get someone’s attention, and a way to answer the phone. And German and Russian both have a similar word. It might (quite logically) seem to your average Latvian that this is the common usage in all languages…. But it’s still amusing to thank someone and have them reply with a smile, a shrug, and “Please.”

I'm Baaaack...

2005-06-15T11:08:00.000-05:00

*sigh* Well, after about ten days without internet access, I have looked through everyone's blogs and fear I am thoroughly behind. Life, I suppose, goes on. :)

I have, in those past ten days, moved from my first apartment to a hotel room to a new apartment. Today is my second day in my new place (and the first day my internet access has been up – heaven forbid it work right away, of course :)). The change from apartment to hotel to apartment has been quite the study in possible living conditions…

The hotel was quite a change… If I were marketing it, I’d call it “cozy.” But I’m not, so I’ll call it small. Maybe even tiny. Whatever you call it, room and bathroom taken together were smaller than any one room in my previous apartment…

I had: a bed (a twin, slight step down from the former king size), a chair, a side table, a TV, and two (luxury of luxuries) bedside nightstands… each of which sported a funky lamp shaped and colored like a peach. Go figure. One thing I did not have is any place to put my clothes. Granted, there was a closet, but it was about five inches deep, so you’d have to hang things sideways, and at that, there’s only about enough space for four items… but that’s okay, ‘cause there were only four hangers anyway. There was no dresser. So, my clothes remained (wrinkled) in my bags, which sat between my bed and the window, allowing me to get out of bed on the other side (provided the bathroom door was shut). Of course, I had no way to cook for myself.

But don’t let the above description fool you. As rather eloquently stated in the Lemony Snicket movie I saw on the way over here, “there is always something.” Sometimes there are a lot of somethings. You just have to have the proper perspective. Try the below description on for size:

The hotel was a cute little bed and breakfast. The building was a renovated wood one: the outside was wood, the floors were wood, the window frame was wood, all the furniture was wood. The staff is terribly nice and helpful. Unlike in my apartment, I now had a normal, honest-to-goodness shower and a TV with cable. I got to watch Spongebob Squarepants in Russian and The Simpsons in German. I had two little green plants on my wide windowsill that added a nice touch of life. Oh, and that window looked out, not onto the noisy street, but to the back courtyard/alley. And I didn’t really lack for food. The place was, after all, a bed and breakfast, so I told them when I wanted to eat in the morning, went down, and they set my meal in front of me. And some breakfast it was: meat of about three varieties, cheese, and egg in some form. Oh, and there was strong Latvian coffee and orange juice and bread (rye, white, and wheat) and butter. And don’t let me forget the “breakfast dessert” – some sweetened and fruity something that came as you finished the first bit. Hard life, I know :). And, to try to keep from eating out, I found a little grocery store and picked up some nuts, dried fruit, rolls, and Nutella spread (a personal favorite). (The name of the grocery store, ironically, was Mini Maxima :).) Even the smallness of the hotel room began to grow on me. It was really… kinda… cozy… :)

And if that was nice… well, my new apartment must be something akin to heaven. It’s even bigger than the other one and furnished much more beautifully. Gone is the functional kitchen table, the straight-lined yellow couch, the brownish-green bedroom, the tiny bathroom. Here, it’s all dark wood with brass hardware and brocade upholstery. My bedroom is accented in blue and cream (much more to my liking) I also have a great admiration for the tiles used in the incredibly spacious bathrooms (yes, plural). Some of the more random pluses are skylights, screens on most of the windows, and a dryer (to accompany the washer). It’s located in a courtyard-like area filled with upper end shops, so the neighborhood is nice and terribly quiet. As I go to work I have the choice of going through the park or past the block-long 24/7 flower stands, which smell excellent and contain more colors than I’ve ever seen in one place. In fact, I went by there on my way home the other day and now three coral roses grace my coffee table in the living room. I can also fix my own supper in my own kitchen now… There’s something therapeutic about coming in after work and sifting through my foodly possessions to create a good tasting combination – and then consuming it :).

Well, that covers my accommodations for the past while… but, of course, I haven’t spent all my time indoors :). I’ll have to update my goings and doings as well – but another time. Currently dinner and laundry call :).

Sunday

2005-06-05T13:44:00.000-05:00

I think Sundays are officially my favorite days here in Riga. All Riga seems to decide that it is a day of rest. When I awake, there is almost no street noise. Even the crowds move slowly. While I walk to church, I can hear the bells from the churches along the way: the rapid “ding dong” of the Lutheran church offset by the slow “bong” of the Eastern Orthodox church. It is a lovely call to worship – but one which only a few Rigans heed.

The church I have attended the past two Sundays is about as far away as you can get from where I live – but it’s a nice walk. It’s an Anglican church, and a fairly old one at that: it was founded in 1857. It, unfortunately, has not had a continuous congregation, since the building was closed by the Soviets and later (God forbid!) used as a discotheque. The current congregation is English speaking, about half and half Brits and Americans with some nationals and other cultures (say, Japanese) and the occasional tourist.

(Incidentally, they did, pragmatically, choose a good place for that discotheque: the acoustics are impeccable. …You haven’t lived until you’ve heard a pipe organ/viola duet :). The viola didn’t even need to be mic-ed. In fact, the church has no sound system or any need of one.)

I don’t know if I’ll end up staying there – I like it, but I’m easily the youngest attendee and I’d kind of like something… longer. More time for singing and preaching. *shrugs* Ah well…

After church, I enjoy walking around the old part of town and finding a place to eat. This, I assure you, is a fine art. You must walk down many side streets before you come to the proper place for lunch, which is generally the place you find when you’re beginning to get hungry ;). Last week it was “Samuroy’s,” a Japanese restaurant, and this week it was “Indian Raja,” an Indian restaurant (no duh). Yes, there is a lot of ethnic food – so much so that it can actually be rather difficult to get traditional Latvian fare. I still need to hunt down the “Cuba Café”…

The second half of the day is then (ideally) spent in shopping and sight seeing. Today, unfortunately, I had to come on home so that I could get a start on packing and cleaning. *sigh* Yep, I’m moving. To another apartment. Via a bed and breakfast. It is… well… it’s not ideal, but it’s happening, and there’s not much I can do about it. For y’all, this means that I will be out of contact for about a week. I could, ostensibly, check my email from work, but with Novell not working... If you’d like to get in touch, email me at my work address – the State Department won’t mind :).

See you… later… sometime… :)

Cardinal Rule of Diplomacy

2005-06-03T13:43:00.000-05:00

I have, today, learned a great lesson of diplomacy – one which is well-hidden, because I think if they knew it, everyone would want to join the diplomatic community. And we can’t have that, now, can we?

Anyway, I thought I’d let y’all in on the secret:
Listen to speech = get food

It is a remarkably simple yet effective rule. No one, after all, wants to sit all day and listen to speeches, so in order to bribe them into it, you feed them. The more important the person speaking, the more people you want to come, so the better food you provide. Allow me to provide some examples from personal experience…

First, I attended part of a conference for Russians to air their issues with the Latvian government, which is a pulse the embassy wants to keep its finger on. So, I sat there listening to a “simultaneous” translation (they were really about two or three sentences behind – I could tell that much) of various people talking about the state of Russian-speakers in Latvia. The issue is interesting… but everything gets old after a while. My companion left after an hour, but I saw that there was going to be a coffee break… and being a poor college student, figured and hour of speeches was worth some free eats :). And it was. They had plenty of coffee, as well as mounds of pastries, of which the conference goers were expected to make a light lunch. I joined them with great joy :).

The second instance was this evening. I just got back from hearing the Russian ambassador speak on the state of Russia-Latvia relations (yes, it’s a big deal here – more on that in a later post). After leaving the speech, I was greeted by a lady with a tray of wine glasses. I obtained a glass of white and meandered into the next room, where I found a table set with zillions of hors d’oeuvres. There were little rolls of ham or turkey filled with some sort of creamy cheese, sausage balls, lightly fried crab claws with more (and better) meat on them than I’ve ever seen (or tasted), little pastry shells with a creamy filling… not to mention veggies of all types, smoked salmon, pickles, olives, etc. For those who were around for a while, they also offered coffee and little fruit and nut filled croissant-like things. …The highlight of the evening was meeting the Russian ambassador. The cream-filled pastry shells ran a close second :).

I hope this new knowledge doesn’t draw my deal Lit.-ish friends away from their certainly *ahem* important pursuits… but the SI program does have its benefits ;).

Of Hotels, Beaches, and Books

2005-05-30T10:02:00.000-05:00

*singing to self* “I’ve still got sand in my shoes…”

And I mean that literally.

I actually got to go to the beach today. Yay!... but then, it was only just. I spent about 6 hours cooped up in a small hotel room. Allow me to explain:

We had a “codel” (congressional delegation) come in this weekend. Normally, we’d’ve taken the day off, it being Memorial Day and all, but when senators decide to visit town, you roll out the red carpet. So roll we did. Part of this red carpet business was to set up a “Control Room” in the hotel where they were staying. There they could access email and news via computer and get assistance in all manner of things – changing money, finding the pool, making their door key work, getting their dry cleaning done, whatever. Eager to help out with the delegation, I volunteered to take a shift for a guy who was needed elsewhere…

So, I got to be at the hotel this morning at 0700, which meant being at the embassy at 0620, which meant waking up at 0500… yeah, not necessarily my most relaxing Memorial Day ever, but worth it. We (a Latvian embassy worker and I) got the pleasure of staying there until 1400 – which is about when the senators were supposed to leave Latvia – they left the hotel at about 0930. This all added up to a long time of sitting in a little room with really nothing to do.

The most significant thing I did all morning was to watch the senators’ baggage as it sat in the hall. They were taking it downstairs in loads and didn’t want any of it “walking off.” So I stood in the hallway with the Latvian equivalent of Randy Long and watched the bags. To pass the time, I had him teach me how to say, “You touch it, you die,” in Latvian. (Which happens to be something like, “Ietanet, miret,” in case you ever needed to know.)

Fortunately, this hotel was a nice, beach front one in Jurmala – a Latvian resort-ish area and near Riga. An American coworker of mine who knew the town was kind enough to get me out of the hotel and show me the main street and the beach. Walking down the street and looking at the little shops was a joy – it is smaller, cozier, naturaller, and shorter than Riga. Though the weather wasn’t exactly beach weather (cool with a stiff breeze – enough that I was glad I was in a suit) it wasn’t bad. We walked back to the hotel via the beach. In order to get the true beachy feel, I took off my loafers and rolled up my pants legs. The damp sand was packed and easy to walk on and I did make sure to stick my feet in the Baltic (or the Gulf of Riga, if you want to be really picky). It was cold. …It was, incidentally, in putting my slightly sandy feet back in my shoes that the sand got in there. I don’t know if I’ll ever get it all out.

That trip, however, only took about an hour and left me with about three to go. I kept myself occupied by reading Starship Troopers (which I had brought with me). This was a good thing, because I had three hours to sit and contemplate the fact that I had gulped down a banana and some orange juice at 0545 and had some coffee at about 0930… and to kick myself for forgetting the granola bar I’d meant to bring. I was rather hungry, with not enough money on me to spend in the ritzy café downstairs. …But I am digressing…

Starship Troopers. It’s a good read and I’m about halfway through it now. The political philosophy behind it, however, tends too far toward conservatism to sit well with this mostly-libertarian (or “classical liberal,” however you’d like it). I would read along and, at intervals, lift my head from my reading and let the book sit in my lap while I contemplated it. (Incidentally, this is how I read most books. I think it’s why I’m such a slow reader. Anyway…) These contemplations mostly consisted of internal philosophizing and argumentation that I didn’t want to foist on my Latvian comrade. So I read and mentally argued, read and mentally argued.... And this kept me thoroughly occupied for the three hours. I even had the joy of finding the following quotes – two sublime, one ridiculous, but of personal interest:

On truth:
“Basic truths cannot change and once a man of insight expresses one of them it is never necessary, no matter how much the world changes, to reformulate them.”

On value:
“The best things in life are beyond money; their price is agony and sweat and devotion … and the price demanded for the most precious of all things in life is life itself – ultimate cost for perfect value.”

On… yeah :):
“We can be selective, applying precisely the required amount of pressure at the specified point at a designated time – we’ve never been told to go down and capture all left-handed redheads in a particular area, but if they tell us to, we can. We will.”
I kid you not. Guess he’s never met a left-handed redhead, huh? ;)

On that note, I shall close. May you all have a blessed Memorial Day. …I better go shut some of my windows, it’s getting rather cold.

Say What?!

2005-05-28T13:32:00.000-05:00

These boxes are all over the city, oddly enough. I have to smile every time I see them, 'cause they remind me of something out of a weird science fiction story:
"Don't like your childhood? Have bad memories? Well, just leave your past in one of our convenient drop boxes and we'll get you a new one in no time!"

Unfortunately (or fortunately?), fiction is stranger than truth in this case. The actual truth is that the word is something like our own "post" and means something akin to "mail."

I still like my original interpretation best :).

My Not-So-Humble Abode...

2005-05-27T15:55:00.000-05:00

This is just to give you an idea of where I'm living. Pictured is my living/dining/desking space. (For the nitpickers among you: yes, it's two pictures, shoddily edited together. I just had to get it all in somehow...)

First Impressions

2005-05-24T18:45:00.000-05:00

*sigh* Well, I’m here :). And, happily, I’ve finally gotten the chance to sit down for a moment…

My flight was long but uneventful – the in-flight movie was good (Lemony Snickett) and the food was even tasty. No complaints there (except maybe for the fact that the flight cut my chance for sleep down to four hours… but I’ve done that before :)).

After I arrived yesterday afternoon, my day was filled with dropping my things off in my apartment, persuading the waitress at “Double Coffee” to give me ice with my chai, walking to the embassy and getting acquainted with the duties/people/funny staircases there, going to my boss’s house for dinner, getting back at 8:30 to fiddle with the technology available (TV and DSL) and mostly unpack, figuring out the optimal way to use my European-style shower-that-is-not-a-shower, and finally falling into bed at 11 and sleeping very soundly :).

Today was a little quieter, consisting mostly of work-oriented stuff. I got a nice security briefing from our chief of security (who is called, interestingly enough, Mike :)). We did take about a two hour lunch break to go to a lovely little Italian restaurant, mostly in honor of the president’s recent successful visit and partly so that I could get to know folks. …Currently, it is raining. Hard. Not the “plish, plish” sort, but the “ker-plosh, ker-plosh” sort. The “slotted sea” sort. (This is why I am blogging instead of exploring.) My walk home was, of course, a very wet one, despite an umbrella, and I am now happily relaxing and drying out. Fortunately, when it does stop raining, the place stays light until about 10, so I should be able to get in a good five hours of fun after work most days.

I think I will be able to be very happy here – both in my apartment and in this city. My apartment is hugely spacious and well furnished. The State Department provided a large trunk for whoever lives here, filled with linens, hangers, towels, cooking utensils, flashlights, etc. Also, my boss and his family put some basic items in the fridge for me: milk, juice, eggs, bread, cheese, and a couple very tasty Braeburn apples, one of which acted as this morning’s breakfast.

The city itself is also lovely, though in a different sort of way. Its buildings are almost all old and ornate, but in varying states of restoration – Soviet communism didn’t do much for upkeep. It is, somewhat surprisingly, cosmopolitan. Not in the way that Washington or London is, but it is, for example, solidly trilingual. Every menu I’ve seen has been printed in Latvian, Russian, and English. …Actually, it reminds me a lot of Rome. The street sounds are similar and, like Rome’s, never ending. Even its smell seems more like Rome than other places. London has a clean smell, but mixed with cigarette smoke and fish and chips. Washington has almost no smell at all. German cities seem to fall somewhere between the two. Riga, though, has an “old European city” smell – kind of car-ish, kind of weirdly sweet with an acrid “after smell.” In the rain, the park that lies between me and work smelled very earthy and pleasant. It made me happy :).

Anyhoo, I think that covers the basics of my first bit of time here. I ought to go unpack the rest of my stuff and look into procuring some dinner…

Preparation and Relaxation

2005-05-17T17:43:00.000-05:00

Ah, the joys of living…

The past couple of days have been devoted, at least in policy, if not practice, to getting ready to go to Latvia. The trip to Birmingham to see extended family one last time has been made. Mom has, kindly, washed up the mountain of laundry I brought home (which really amounted to just about every piece of clothing I own). Dry cleaning has been set aside to go to the cleaners. Dad has ordered me some euros from the bank. I got a booster vaccination for hepatitis A/B and have acquired a round of typhoid pills. A dress I bought that needed to be altered has finally been dropped off at the tailor’s. Mom and I spent the late morning shopping for various items: a nice wooden cane to make getting about and travel easier, contact solution, ibuprofen, and some replacement hair implements. I sent one last email to my soon-to-be coworkers telling them what time I was getting in and asking about phones and internet connectivity.

Now one large job stares me in the face: unpack everything I brought home in order to pick out which bits need to be repacked for Latvia. So I am sitting here in the living room blogging. Such a job should not be completed on an empty stomach, I think. It should probably wait ‘til after dinner. :)

Not that I’ve worked all the time (or even most of the time), mind. Y’all know me… No, I’ve found time to visit the jewelry store where Daniel works and get some information on the newest and coolest in watches. I’ve finally watched Napoleon Dynamite (though I don’t know that that’s something to be proud of :)) and Zoolander (which, I have to say, I found highly funny). I went to a shower/reception/tea thing in honor of the graduation of a young lady and got to see a lot of high school friends there. I went to my mom’s worldviews class and saw more old friends who were also visiting. I’ve spent time laughing and talking with Luis, a Panamanian fellow from our church who’s staying with us for a little while before he returns home. Daniel and I stayed up last night to start a co-op game of Splinter Cell… a game which I think I will enjoy, now that I don’t get us killed every five minutes :).

So, that pretty much sums up life currently. Which is, not surprisingly, like life most of the time :)…

Jehovah Jireh

2005-04-23T15:52:00.000-05:00

I have had so many reasons to praise God for His provision as regards my internship. Of course, just having it in the first place is amazing. In a bureaucratic snafu (which I’ve now come to expect), I actually received a rejection email the same day I received a packet of information telling me I was going to Latvia. Anyway, it seems they had over 4,900 applicants for not even close to half that many internships. How did I end up with one of them? Beyond “the grace of God,” I have no idea.

But that is not my favorite bit of provision, really. That one was astounding in magnitude, my favorite is… ironic. Anyone who says God does not have a sense of humor is dead wrong :). Beyond providing me an internship, God has also had to provide a way for me to remain in it. You see, I am financially fairly well off, but I’m not, as I think you all know, independently wealthy :). I cannot afford to work overseas all summer and be paid nothing. I certainly can’t afford to do that and return to school next semester. So God’s solution was…?

It was funny, that’s what it was :). I have to smile every time I think of it. Remember my car – the one that got totaled at the beginning of last semester? Right… well… due to the grace of God, the unfortunate placement of our dear Nathan, and the generosity of USAA, my car turned into money :). In fact, my car turned into more money than I paid for it – definitely more than I could have sold it for. This money is, ostensibly, for the purchasing of another car. However, I currently don’t want another car (I’m not going to be able to take it to Latvia with me) and I do want money. Badly. So, there sits the money, happy in a bank account at home, easily sufficient for buying plane tickets and for living on over the summer.

God has been good to me in so many ways…

Inching Forward

2005-04-20T22:40:00.000-05:00

One small step for me... and an even smaller one for mankind :).

I finally got word from the embassy today that I really can go ahead and get a ticket and that they'll have a place for me to stay this summer. Terribly reassuring news, that :).

Now I'm finally getting excited about the whole thing. Don't get me wrong - I was happy about it before, too. But now it seems more sure and immediate. Before I didn't know when I was leaving or where I'd be living. Now I've moved just that much closer to making the dream reality. I can now begin to make other plans (which, if you haven't figured out already, is something I love to do :)). Also, there were papers and exams in the immediate future before, which made thinking about a summer in Latvia rather a luxury. With most of those out of the way (who cares about finals anway, right?), I can devote more time to the planning.

' Course, now that I can think about the trip, one of the first things that comes to mind is: STUDY RUSSIAN. In the coming weeks I'll hopefully be able to dust off my Russian Bible, load up my Russian computer program, and burn the language more solidly into my synapses.

So I'm currently in a state of joyous and busy anticipation. I look forward to much exploration and many adventures this summer - both in and out of the embassy. My only regret in all this is that y'all won't be there to share it with me....

The Beginning

2005-03-28T20:38:00.000-06:00

It has begun.

The ostensible reason for this blog to exist is so that I may communicate more easily when I’m in Latvia. So, I figured I may as well cover the preparations and run up to the trip itself. …This also lets me get the blog up and running before I’m in Latvia with heaven only knows what kind of internet connectivity. Anyhow…

I have my interim clearance. *and there was much rejoicing* This means, for those who don’t know, that, unless they find something terrible in my background, I get to go for good and sure.

So, in an effort to get ready for my impending trip, I had the grand pleasure of getting my immunizations today. Hepatitis A/B… Tetanus-Diptheria… Polio… Not the most fun thing I’ve done in my life… but not the worst, by any stretch. Actually, getting whacked with a saber – by certain people in particular *ahemBEN* – is quite a bit worse :).

Relaxing after having done my duty for the day, it gives me pleasure, as a good SI major, to think of my immune system in terms of intelligence… The thoughts of my brain run thusly:

There Bob, the white blood cell, sits at his cubicle desk. It’s quiet in the office – almost boringly quiet – but that’s the way Bob likes it. Quiet means he’s doing his job properly and The Body is safe. Granted, there had recently been reports of suspicious activity in the Nose region… but even though that wasn’t Bob’s area of expertise, he thought the Indicators and Warnings office had gone a bit too far with their assessment. Sighing, he turned back to his report: How Interagency Cooperation and Tight Border Security Helped Us Prevent a Flu Attack for the Sixth Consecutive Year. At least it was less boring than sitting at his desk doing nothing.

Suddenly, Bob’s peace was interrupted: One of the intel collectors ran in the door, out of breath and waving some papers. He managed to gasp out, “It’s wild, I’ve never seen anything like them!” as he thrust the papers at Bob. As the collector caught his breath, an explanation came tumbling out of him. “They all just came in. One came in from the folks in Left Arm, but a full four of the others came from the group of us in Right.”

Bob scanned each document… he’d never seen anything like this. Five new threats in the course of five minutes?! He scrambled. He called in every office and analyst he could get a hold of. It would take working around the clock to assess these threats and create countermeasures. The Body would have to go into serious lockdown… It remained to be seen, but some nonessential functions might have to be cut. Bob, however, was optimistic: at least the threat, though new, seemed to be contained. With some hard work, any serious repercussions could be avoided. And hey, at least his day wouldn’t be boring.

Little did Bob know that this was all a training exercise, planned by the foresightful Mind…

Hm. *looks suspiciously at self* I’m blogging… I’m writing about the day of a white blood cell… The papers the guy at the clinic gave me told me to be on the lookout for “unusual behavior” as a sign of a bad reaction to my vaccinations. Maybe I oughta go back and get myself checked…….